April 2009

Osho – Remember, meditation can never be result-oriented

Osho on Meditation and Result

Osho – Remember, meditation can never be result-oriented; you simply meditate, that’s all. Everything happens but it will not be a result. If you are seeking the result nothing will happen; meditation will be useless.When you seek a result, it is the mind; when you don’t seek a result, it is meditation. Kick the pot [...]

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Osho Jokes – The more you are full of desire and lust, the more stupid you are

“How much do you charge for handling a case like mine?” he asked.“I really don’t like to handle divorce cases,” replied his attorney. “Why do you want to get a divorce?”“Because I want to marry my wife’s sister.”“Now, a case like that could get pretty messy. It might cost you as much as a thousand [...]

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Osho – Desire as such is a bondage, because when you desire, you become dependent

Osho – Desire AS SUCH is a bondage, because when you desire, you become dependent on the other, on the desired object. Whether it is a woman, money, a man, power, prestige, it does not matter — it is desire, and desire brings bondage. Why? It is simple. When you desire something, your joy depends [...]

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Osho Jokes – A pretty young girl stretched out on the psychiatrist's couch

A pretty young girl stretched out on the psychiatrist’s couch. “I just can’t help myself, Doctor. No matter how hard I try to resist, I bring five or six men with me into my bedroom every night. Last night there were ten. I just feel so miserable, I don’t know what to do.”In understanding tones [...]

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Osho – Life is a flux, nothing abides. Still we are such fools, we go on clinging

Osho - Life is a flux

Osho – Life is a flux, nothing abides. Still we are such fools, we go on clinging. If change is the nature of life, then clinging is stupidity, because your clinging is not going to change the law of life. Your clinging is only going to make you miserable. Things are bound to change; whether [...]

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Osho – Guilt is imposed by others; shame is your own experience

Osho on Guilt and Shame

Osho – But why does the priest go on creating guilt in man? There is a secret behind it. If you can make humanity feel guilty you remain powerful. The guilty person is always ready to serve those who are powerful. He is always ready to serve those who are puritans. He is always ready [...]

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Osho – What is enlightenment? — the insight that desire is futile, that ambition is illness

Question – BELOVED MASTER, WHY AM I NOT GETTING ENLIGHTENED SOON? WHY IS THERE SO MUCH DELAY? Osho – Sagaram, the cause must be in you. In fact, YOU ARE the cause. You are not trying to understand what I am saying. Now enlightenment has become an object of your desire — and enlightenment happens [...]

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Osho – Beloved Master Why you use Rolls Royce

Question – BELOVED MASTER, WHAT IS SO FUNNY ABOUT YOUR DRIVING TO DISCOURSE IN A ROLLS ROYCE?Osho – There is a long story behind it! I was driving… I was coming in an Impala, and people like you started writing letters to me saying that, “This is a plumber’s car!”I told Laxmi, “Change it!” So [...]

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Osho Jokes – The Silversteins sent their son to a boarding school

The Silversteins sent their son to a highbrow New England boarding school. A few months later he returned home for the Christmas holidays.“Samela,” greeted his mother. “It is so good to see you.”“Mother,” he replied, “stop calling me Samela. I’m grown up now and I wish you would refer to me as Samuel.”“I am sorry,” [...]

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Osho – Whatsoever happens to you is your own doing

Osho – If you don’t listen to the buddhas you will be consumed by your own mischief. The harm that you do to yourself is such that nobody can do it to you; you are the greatest enemy to yourself, right now as you are. Of course you can be the greatest friend too, but [...]

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Osho – Cut the roots of desire

Osho – Desire means you are dragged out of the moment; that creates a tension, that creates anxiety, that creates hope. And then finally hope turns sour, becomes frustration. Each hope leads you into anguish. Buddha calls it the only impurity. Cut the roots of desire, live in the moment so totally, pull yourself out [...]

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Osho Jokes – A bartender at a very posh gentlemen's club was on duty

Osho – A bartender at a very posh gentlemen’s club was on duty when a distinguished gentleman seated himself at the bar, but made no attempt to order a drink. The bartender inquired what the gentleman would have, but the man replied that he was not drinking because he had tried liquor once and had [...]

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Buddha says: Meditation is the only wealth, because you can take it beyond death

Osho – There is only one thing which you can take with you, and that is true wealth. Buddha calls it meditation, awareness, watchfulness, mindfulness, consciousness. If you become more and more conscious, you can take that consciousness with you. But you are living a very very unconscious life. Your whole life is mechanical, you [...]

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Osho Jokes – A little girl answered the knock on the door of the farmhouse

A little girl answered the knock on the door of the farmhouse. The caller, a rather troubled-looking, middle-aged man, asked to see her father.“If you have come about the bull,” she said, “he is fifty dollars. We have the papers and everything and he is guaranteed.”“Young lady,” the man said, “I want to see your [...]

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Osho Jokes – If you go on repressing things, then on the surface you may look like a saint

A woman with a baby, next in line in the crowded anteroom of a station of the Infant Welfare Society, was shown into the doctor’s office by the nurse in charge.The doctor examined the baby, and then asked the woman, “Is he breast-fed or bottle-fed?”“Breast-fed,” she replied.“Strip down to you waist,” he ordered. She did, [...]

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Osho – You are simply a watcher, different from all that surrounds you

Osho – As you become a witness, as you become aware, you simply come to know that you are not the body, not the mind, not even the heart. You are simply a watcher, different from all that surrounds you. The body is your outermost boundary; the mind a little more inner, the heart still [...]

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Osho – Life is not just logic. It does not follow a clean-cut path

Osho – A bachelor named Clem showed up at his weekly poker game with a black eye. His friend Joe asked what had happened to him. “Well,” Clem replied, “when I was getting dressed this morning a button came off my pants. I don’t know how to sew a thing, so I went to the [...]

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Osho – When your life is full of joy, unbounded joy, it is creative

Osho – When your life is full of joy, unbounded joy, it is creative, then great creativity is born in you. Then you do something to contribute to the evolution of humanity, to the evolution of the whole universe. You add some beauty to it, you share your celebration with it. You make at least [...]

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Osho – the only way to get rid of this mess, this chaos, is to be aware

Osho – All kinds of things are going on inside the mind. One day just sit down and write whatsoever is coming into the mind. And don’t cheat, just write exactly whatsoever comes in and you will be surprised that this is your mind, this is where you have been living your life from. You [...]

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Osho – To be totally determined is almost half the journey.

Fred was admitted to a madhouse because he always felt he was a mouse and was totally paranoid about cats.After years and years of treatment he was finally declared normal again and the doctor said, “So you know now that you are not a mouse — you are a human being like me and there [...]

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Osho – Just remain silently watchful, neither for nor against

Osho – Passion creates many things in you. It creates fever, it makes you more unconscious — more unconscious than you already are. It drags you deeper into the mud. And with passion come hatred, illusion and desire — and then you are distracted from your nature. Your nature is poisoned, your innocence is poisoned. [...]

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Osho – Pleasure is animal, happiness is human, bliss is divine

Osho – Jayananda, it depends. It depends on you, on your state of consciousness or unconsciousness, whether you are asleep or awake. There is one famous maxim of Murphy. He says there are two types of people: One, who always divide humanity in two types, and the other, who don’t divide humanity at all. I [...]

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