[A sannyasin describes an experience he had at a full-moon party when his mind became clear and he saw that people are in difficulty. He wanted to make himself useful, but he closed up again.]

Osho – No, you cannot do anything about it. You cannot retain it… you cannot bring it. Whenever it comes it comes, and whenever it goes it goes. One has to simply be a host to it. When the guest comes, be a host – when the guest goes, say good-bye.

You cannot do anything about it. It has nothing to do with your doing – it is a natural phenomenon. And on the full moon night, sometimes it starts. That is the night when it starts. The full-moon night has a very alchemical impact on the human consciousness. Buddha became enlightened on the full-moon night – not only that, he was born on the same full moon night, he became enlightened on the same full-moon night, he died on the same full moon.

His birthday, his death day, his enlightenment day, all fall on one day – the full-moon night… the same month, the same night. The full moon has tremendous importance, so just do one thing: you can remain available, that’s all. If it happens, good; if it doesn’t happen don’t feel worried about it.

Next time again you try – when the full-moon night comes, start at least five days before, sitting in the night, just waiting. Wait one hour every night for five days, then the full moon will come. That night wait for at least two, three hours – not that you have to do anything: you are just there, available.

If it happens, you are ready; if it doesn’t happen, nothing to be worried about. If it doesn’t happen don’t feel frustrated, because it has nothing to do with your doing. If it happens, don’t feel that you have done a great thing, otherwise it will never happen again. If it happens, feel grateful; if it doesn’t happen, simply wait again.

Each full-moon night start waiting. It will be coming more and more and it will be staying more and more. And when it comes, don’t try to control it. Don’t try to be in that state a little longer; don’t bring desire in, because those are all disturbances and they poison the whole thing.

It is a door of the beyond. Just start waiting for it… waiting but with tremendous patience, with no hurry. Don’t try to drag it. It is beyond human control but one can manage to invite it in a very indirect way. Take a bath, sing a song, sit silently in the night – wait for it. Sway with the moon, look at the moon, feel full with the moon… feel the moon showering on you, dance a little, sit again, wait. Let the full-moon night become your particular night for meditation – it will be helpful.

Source: from Osho Book “What Is, Is, What Ain’t, Ain’t”

[A sannyasin says: The other night I got very frightened. I was in my room lying on my bed, and for some reason I started thinking that I am not my body alone. The room stood out very strongly, everything in the room stood out strongly, but it wasn’t warm, it was cold.]

Osho – It was an effortless meditation. It suddenly happened and that’s why you got frightened. Now try it on purpose and consciously tonight. Be in the same room; lie down and start thinking that you are not the body, that you are separate from the body. The moment that you start thinking that you are not the body, everything will become very present and strong, because the warmth is within the identification with the body.

Suddenly you are in a strange land: only things are there, and your own body has become like a corpse – that’s why you got frightened. Try again tonight. Go in deeper and deeper, and don’t become afraid. If you become very afraid, take the locket (the locket, which is part of the mala all sannyasins wear, has a picture of Osho in it) in the hand and remember me. Continue the feeling that you are not the body, and by and by take the next step – that you are also not the mind.

Thoughts are there, but you are not them. You are the observer of both the body and the mind, you are a witness. Go on feeling it as deeply as possible. In the beginning it will look like death – it is. But soon you will see that a new sense of life is arising. The fear will disappear and instead you will feel a weightlessness. You will feel a new sort of freedom as if suddenly wings have grown to you and you can fly, and the whole world is yours.

But before you attain to that, fear will be there and it will become very very terrible. One has to pass through it. Now for seven nights do it, and become as frightened as you can – but don’t run away from it, don’t escape. Go deeper. You will feel like sinking, dying, suffocating. Take the locket in the hand and accept it, that it is okay.

To come to oneself, one has to pass through many fears. After the dark night there is the dawn, the morning. It has been good, you should be happy. When will you do it, at exactly what time? – so I can watch you.

[He replies:: Ten o’clock.]
Osho – Ten o’clock. Then be particular – exactly ten o’clock. And if you feel me there, don’t get frightened. (a chuckle) Mm? and don’t get scaredl

Source: from Osho Book “Hammer on the Rock”

[An Indian sannyasin had come before darshan to talk to Osho about a frightening experience he had had recently while meditating. As people arrived for the darshan Osho was saying:]

Osho – One gets really scared. Really, it came too early and you weren’t yet ready. It can happen that suddenly a key fits, and then the experience of deep meditation is exactly like death. The problem is created because one gets scared. Meditation leads you deep into yourself. Beyond a certain point it is felt like drowning, sinking, suffocating. If you accept it and cooperate with it and simply say that you are ready to die, then you don’t create the opposite process of trying to come out of it. Then there comes a peak where all disturbance disappears.

Something has happened – but you are still there. In fact for the first time you are there – and everything becomes blissful. Before it comes to the peak there is pain and anguish, and it is natural that one starts thinking about how to get out of it somehow. In the getting out, that cooperation is broken, so you are moving now in two ways. Something you have done in meditation is taking you deep, while you are trying to cling to the surface. In that confusion and conflict the whole body can feel in turmoil.

It was not really because of the experience, but because you created this conflict. This phenomenon has to be faced one day by anyone who is moving into meditation; there is no way to avoid it. When it happens one naturally becomes afraid to meditate again. So, don’t do this method for a few days; do something else. Humming is good. It is very slow, and will subdue the energy. Do a camp, and if something happens then I am here, so you rely on me more easily.

You could rely on me there too… but it was for the first time, so you were not aware of what was happening. Next time it happens simply take the locket in your hand, and leave it to me. Simply say that you are ready to die, and relax; sink, and allow it. Once you allow it, the whole of the energy is moving in one direction so there is no inner conflict; and because there is no conflict there is no anxiety. The whole body will feel rejuvenated. Otherwise you create a disturbance.

It is just as when you are driving a car. You go on pushing the accelerator, and at the same time you brake: the whole engine feels the shock because you are doing two contradictory things – racing and braking simultaneously. That’s what you have done. The meditation turned the energy inwards – and it is a tremendous experience, deeper than any death.

We are accustomed to live on the surface, and we think that that is life. We have forgotten our own depths completely. So when we encounter death for the first time, it is like an abyss, and fear takes over – because if one falls… it is bottomless. This is the point where a master is needed. He is not needed in the beginning because one can start on one’s own, but when this experience comes then someone is needed who can give assurance, who can give you confidence again, who can put you back on the path.

In a way it has been a blessing. It is rare, because usually people work for years before it happens. If you have worked for years there is not so much fear, because by and by you are gradually being prepared. Little glimpses of it come and go, so you know something of it and that it is going to happen. When it happens so suddenly, then either the body suffers or the mind – which is worse; some people can go mad. So both are possible. But you have to understand that it happened not because of the meditation but because you started fighting; you started to come up, to surface.

If you are in the river and you are caught in a whirlpool, the natural tendency is to somehow fight it. But this is wrong. Masters of swimming will tell you that if you are caught in a whirlpool, you should cooperate with it. If you go with it, if you give all your energy to it, there is no conflict, so no energy is wasted. At the rock-bottom of the whirlpool it is so small that it cannot hold you, so there is no need even to come out of it; you will be simply out of it. But if you start fighting it on the surface you are wasting your energy, and you will lose it before you get to the bottom; you will be gone.

[The sannyasin said that it was just like an explosion.... ]

Yes, it was an explosion! People long for it all their lives! The opportunity was very close, mm?… but it will come again. That method is your method, and you have found the key!
[A sannyasin describes an experience which happened during the Gourishankar mediation: Something cold was rising up, and something was happening here. (indicating his third eye)... I was screaming for thoughts to come because there were no thoughts at all... I got very frightened... After it was over I was very ashamed that I didn’t go through it.]

Osho – Yes, that too is right. It was good, mm? It is such an unknown state when thoughts stop. We have always lived with thoughts – that is the known, the familiar; we are moving on a well-trodden path. When you stop thinking for the first time, then the wildness of existence opens its door. It is chaotic. The greatest fear that can come to a man is to not be able to think.

When you cannot think, you cannot be, for without thinking you disappear. The father of modern western philosophy was Rene Descartes. His whole philosophy was based on three words: Cogito ergo sum – I think, therefore I am. If this is the mind: ’I think, therefore I am’ – and it is – then when thoughts stop, you are not. One simply looks crazy, as if in an insane world, because what is happening is beyond control. You cannot even think – which was always so easy!

In fact it was difficult to stop thinking! But when it does stop, fear takes over. It is bound to happen the first time. The next time it will be easier. Don’t try to do anything when it happens again. Just remain in it.

Source: from Osho Book “Hammer on the Rock”