Osho Jokes

Osho – Now it is time for Sardar Gurudayal Singh. He seems to be sitting very far away. Just put the light on! Everybody has to see his rainbow-colored turban! 1.. One morning, Mad Melvin, Loony Larry, and Crazy Karl all escape from the Sunnyvale Insane Asylum. Happy as larks, the three loonies go into [...]

Question – Come On, Osho, Be a Sport and Tell us that juicy Joke! Osho – Okay, Maneesha! ONE day, while studying the alphabet, the teacher looked at her second grade class and said, “Who can tell me a word that starts with the letter A?” All the children raised their hands, but teacher wouldn’t [...]

Monsieur Foucard was visiting London for the first time. While walking about he felt nature calling and looked around for a public latrine like those in Paris. He could not find one and, in desperation, stepped into a dark building entrance. Immediately a bobby tapped him from behind, “You can’t do that here, you know!” [...]

Question – Beloved Master, I am a Rusian. Can you tell me a Joke about the Russians? Osho – Darshan, I am never miserly about jokes. If you ask me for one I will tell you two. The first: Brezhnev, the head of the Russian Communist Party, invites his aged mother to leave the village [...]

“Hello. This is long distance. I have a call for you from Palm Springs.”“Hello, Herman, this is Rube. Listen, I am stranded here and I need five hundred dollars.”“I can’t hear you. Something is wrong with the phone.”“I want five hundred dollars!”“I still can’t hear you.”“I can hear it okay,” interrupted the operator.“Then YOU give [...]

A pretty young girl stretched out on the psychiatrist’s couch. “I just can’t help myself, Doctor. No matter how hard I try to resist, I bring five or six men with me into my bedroom every night. Last night there were ten. I just feel so miserable, I don’t know what to do.”In understanding tones [...]

The Silversteins sent their son to a highbrow New England boarding school. A few months later he returned home for the Christmas holidays.“Samela,” greeted his mother. “It is so good to see you.”“Mother,” he replied, “stop calling me Samela. I’m grown up now and I wish you would refer to me as Samuel.”“I am sorry,” [...]

A little girl answered the knock on the door of the farmhouse. The caller, a rather troubled-looking, middle-aged man, asked to see her father.“If you have come about the bull,” she said, “he is fifty dollars. We have the papers and everything and he is guaranteed.”“Young lady,” the man said, “I want to see your [...]

Osho – A bachelor named Clem showed up at his weekly poker game with a black eye. His friend Joe asked what had happened to him. “Well,” Clem replied, “when I was getting dressed this morning a button came off my pants. I don’t know how to sew a thing, so I went to the [...]

“Take me to the railway station,” said the drunk, stumbling into a waiting taxi.“Look mate, we are at the railway station,” said the cabby.“Thanks,” murmured the drunk, handing over a five-dollar bill. “And next time, don’t drive so bloody fast.” The taxi had not moved even an inch. Your life may remain exactly where it [...]