Osho – if you want to abide always and always, you have not lived the moment. One who has lived his life truly, authentically, one who has enjoyed it, is always ready to die, is always ready to leave. One who has not enjoyed and celebrated, one who has not lived the moment, the life, is always afraid to leave because “the time has come to leave and I am yet unfulfilled.” The fear of death is not the fear of death, it is a fear of remaining unfulfilled. You are going to die, and nothing, nothing at all could you experience through life — no maturity, no growth, no flowering. Emptyhanded you came, emptyhanded you are going. This is the fear!

One who has lived is always ready to die. His readiness is not a forced attitude. His readiness is just like a flower. When the flower has flowered, has sent its perfume to the infinite corners of existence, enjoyed the moment, lived it, danced through the breeze, risen against the wind, looked at the sky, watched the sunrise, lived it, a fulfillment comes by the evening and the flower is ready to drop to the earth, to go back, to rest. And it is always beautiful — when you have lived, rest is beautiful. It is the thing! The flower simply drops to the earth and goes to sleep. There is no tension, no anguish, no cry, no effort to cling.

You cling to life because your life is unfulfilled. You have not risen against a strong wind. You have not known the morning, and the evening has come. You have never been young, and old age is knocking at the door. You never loved, and death is coming. This unfulfilled state and the coming of death creates the fear. Buddha says that if you have lived you will always be ready to die. And that readiness will not be something forced upon you. It will be the thing, it will be a natural thing! As you are born, you die. As you come, you go. This is the wheel of existence. You lived the being part, now you will live the nonbeing part. You existed, now you will not exist. You rose, you manifested, now you will move into the unmanifested. You were visible, embodied, now you will move without the body to the invisible. You had your day; now you will take rest in the night. What is wrong in it?

The search for the permanent shows that you remain unfulfilled. The search to have a permanent self is a clinging. You know that death is going to be there, so what to do? The body will disintegrate, disappear; now you have your hopes that some permanent self must be there which will go on and on and on. Remember: those who are afraid, they always believe in the eternal soul.

Look in this country: the whole country believes that the soul is eternal, but you cannot find a more cowardly country in the world. It is not accidental. Why are Indians so cowardly? In fact, if they know that the soul is never going to die they should be the bravest — because death doesn’t exist! They go on talking about the deathless, and if you watch their life they are more afraid of death than anybody else. Otherwise, how can you explain the one thousand years of slavery of this country? Very small races — England is no bigger than a small province of India. Three crore people only were able to dominate a country of fifty crore. It seems simply impossible! How did it happen? — because the country is cowardly. They cannot fight, they are afraid of death. They talk about the deathless — and this is not accidental, there is a reasoning behind it.

Whenever somebody talks too much about the deathless it means he is afraid of death, he is a coward. And India has not lived because of the priests. India has not lived life because of the priests. They have been teaching people to renounce, so everybody is ready, before he has lived, to renounce. Then the fear comes in. If you have lived, lived to your total capacity, to the optimum, the fear of death disappears. Only then does the fear of death disappear, never before it. If you renounce life, if you don’t love, if you don’t eat, if you don’t enjoy and dance; if you simply renounce and condemn and you say, “This is all materialistic. I am against it”… who is this “I” who says “I am against it”? This is the ego.

You cannot find greater egoists than so called spiritualists. They are always condemning the materialist. They are always saying: “What! You are wasting your life. Eat, drink, and be merry — this is your religion. You are a burden on the earth. You have to be thrown into hell.” Who is condemning? What is wrong in “Eat, drink, and be merry”? What is wrong in it? That is the first part of life. It should be so. You should eat, drink, and be merry.

You should celebrate. Only then, when you have celebrated to the optimum, are you ready to go, are you ready to leave and with no grudge, with no complaint. You lived the day, now the night has come. And when the day was so beautiful — you rose with the waves in the sky, and you did whatsoever the moment demanded — then the rest, then going back to the earth is beautiful.

India has been renouncing, and a religion that renounces is false. A religion that makes you capable of celebrating to the optimum is the true religion. And this is the beauty of it: if you live life, a renunciation comes automatically. It happens — that is the nature. If you eat well, satiety comes. If you drink well, the thirst disappears. If you lived well, the clinging to life disappears. It has to be so. This is the law, the logos. If you have not lived well, then you always remain clinging, then you always dream about how to live. And if you have renounced this life you have to project another life. You need a permanent self, otherwise what will you do? You missed this life, and there is no other life? You need a permanent self. You have to believe and console yourself: “Okay, the body dies but the self never dies.”

Source – Osho Book “The Hidden Harmony”

Zen Sutra – “At the death of a parishioner, Master Dogo, accompanied by his disciple zengen, visited the bereaved family. Without taking time to express a word of sympathy, Zengen went up to the coffin, rapped on it, and asked Dogo: ‘is he really dead?’

Osho on above sutra – The first thing: when death is there you have to be very respectful because death is no ordinary phenomenon, it is the most extraordinary phenomenon in the world. Nothing is more mysterious than death. Death reaches to the very center of existence, and when a man is dead you are moving on sacred ground: it is the holiest moment possible. No, ordinary curiosities cannot be allowed. They are disrespectful.

In the East particularly, death is respected more than life — and the East has lived long to come to this conclusion. In the West life is more respected than death; hence so much tension, so much worry and so much anguish, so much madness. Why? If you respect life more, you will be afraid of death, and then death will look antagonistic, the enemy; and if death is the enemy you will remain tense your whole life, because death can happen any moment. You don’t accept it, you reject it — but you cannot destroy it. Death cannot be destroyed. You can reject it; you can deny it; you can be afraid, scared, but it is there, just at the corner, always with you like a shadow. You will be trembling your whole life — and you ARE trembling. And in the fear, in all fears if searched deeply, you will find the fear of death.

Whenever you are afraid, something has given you an indication of death. If your bank goes bankrupt and you are filled with fear and trembling, anxiety — that too is anxiety about death, because your bank balance was nothing but a security against death. Now you are more open, vulnerable. Now who will protect you if death knocks at the door? If you become ill, if you become old, then who is going to take care of you? The guarantee was there in the bank, and the bank has gone bankrupt.

You cling to prestige, power, position, because when you have a position you are so significant that you are more protected by people. When you are not in power, you become so impotent that nobody bothers in any way who you are. When you are in power you have friends, family, followers; when you are not in power, everybody leaves. There was a protection, somebody was there to care; now nobody cares. Whatsoever you are afraid of, if you search deeply you will always find the shadow of death somewhere.

You cling to a husband, you are afraid he may leave; or you cling to a wife, afraid she may leave you. What is the fear? Is it really the fear of a divorce, or is it a fear of death? It is a fear of death… because in divorce you become alone. The other gives a protection, a feeling that you are not alone, somebody else is with you. In moments when somebody else will be needed, you will have somebody to look to. But the wife has left, or the husband has left, and now you are left alone, a stranger. Who will protect you? Who will care for you when you are ill?

When people are young they do not need a wife or a husband so much, but when they are old their need is more. When you are young it is a sexual relationship. The older you become the more it becomes a life relationship, because now if the other leaves you, immediately death is there. Wherever you are afraid, try to explore, and you will find death hiding somewhere behind. All fear is of death. Death is the only fear source.

In the West people are very scared, worried, anxious, because you have to fight continuously against death. You love life, you respect life — that’s why in the West old people are not respected. Young people are respected, because old people have moved further towards death than you; they are already in its grip. Youth is respected in the West — and youth is a transitory phenomenon, it is already passing from your hands.

In the East old men are respected, because in the East death is respected; and because in the East death is respected, there is no fear about death. Life is just a part; death is the culmination. Life is just the process; death is the crescendo. Life is just the moving; death is the reaching. And both are one! So what will you respect more, the way or the goal? The process or the flowering? Death is the flower, life is nothing but the tree. And the tree is there for the flower, the flower is not there for the tree. The tree should be happy and the tree should dance when the flower comes.

So in the East death is accepted; not only accepted, welcomed. It is a divine guest. When it knocks at the door, it means the universe is ready to receive you back. In the East we respect death. And this young man Zengen just came in without even expressing a word of sympathy or respect. He simply became curious. Not only that, he was very disrespectful — he tapped on the coffin and asked Dogo, ‘Is he really dead?’ His question is beautiful, but not in the right moment. The question is right but the moment he has chosen is wrong. To be curious before death is childish; one has to be respectful, silent. That is the only way to have a rapport with the phenomenon.

When somebody dies it is really something very deep happening. If you can just sit there and meditate many things will be revealed to you. Questioning is foolish. When death is there, why not meditate? Questioning may be just a trick to avoid the thing, it may be just a safety measure so as not to look at death directly.

I have watched when people go to burn or to cremate somebody — they start talking too much there. At the cremation ground they discuss many philosophical things. In my childhood I loved very much to follow everybody. Whosoever died, I would be there. Even my parents became very much afraid; they would say, ‘Why do you go? We don’t even know that man. There is no need to go.’

I would say, ‘That is not the point. The man is not my concern. Death… it is such a beautiful phenomenon, and one of the most mysterious. One should not miss it.’ So the moment I heard that somebody had died I would be there, always watching, waiting, witnessing what was happening.

And I watched people discussing many things, philosophical problems such as: What is death? And somebody would say: ‘Nobody dies. The innermost self is immortal.’ They would discuss the Upanishads, the Gita, and quote authorities. I started feeling: ‘They are avoiding. By just becoming engaged in a discussion, they are avoiding the phenomenon that is happening. They are not looking at the dead man. And the thing is there! Death is there, and you are discussing it! What fools!’

You have to be silent. If you can be silent when death is there you will suddenly see many things, because death is not just a person stopping breathing. Many things are happening. When a person dies, his aura starts subsiding. If you are silent you can feel it – - an energy force, a vital energy field, subsiding, getting back to the center.

When a child is born just the opposite happens. When a child is born an aura starts spreading; it starts near the navel. Just as when you throw a pebble in a lake, ripples start — they go on spreading, go on spreading — when a child is born breath is like a pebble in the lake; when the child breathes the navel center is hit. The first pebble has been thrown in the silent lake, and the ripples go on spreading.

Your whole life you go on spreading. Nearabout the age of thirty-five your aura is completed, at its peak. Then it starts subsiding. When a person dies it goes back to the navel. When it reaches the navel, it becomes a concentrated energy, a concentrated light. If you are silent you can feel it, you will feel a pull. If you sit near a dead man you will feel as if a subtle breeze is blowing towards the dead man and you are being pulled. The dead man is contracting his whole life, the whole field that he was.

Many things start happening around a dead man. If he loved a person very deeply, that means he had given a part of his life energy to that person, and when a person dies, immediately that part that he had given to another person leaves that person and moves to the dead man. If you die here and your lover lives in Hong Kong, something will leave your lover immediately — because you have given a part of your life and that part will come back to you. That’s why when a loved one dies you feel that something has left you also, something in you has died also. A deep wound, a deep gap will exist now.

Whenever a lover dies, something in the beloved also dies, because they were deeply involved with each other. And if you have loved many, many people — for example, if a person like Dogo dies, or a buddha — from all over the universe energy moves back to the center. It is a universal phenomenon because he is involved in many many lives, millions of lives, and from everywhere his energy will come back. The vibrations that he has given to many will leave, they will move to the original source, they will become again a concentration near the navel.

If you watch you will feel ripples coming back in a reverse order, and when they are totally concentrated in the navel, you can see a tremendous energy, a tremendous lightforce. And then that center leaves the body. When a man ‘dies’, that is simply a stopping of the breath, and you think he is dead. He is not dead; that takes time. Sometimes, if the person has been involved in millions of lives, it takes many days for him to die — that’s why with sages, with saints, particularly in the East, we never burn their bodies. Only saints are not burned; otherwise everybody is burned, because others’ involvement is not so much. Within minutes the energy gathers, and they are no more part of this existence.

But with saints, the energy takes time. Sometimes it goes on and on — that’s why if you go to Shirdi, to Sai Baba’s town, you will still feel something happening, still the energy goes on coming; he is so much involved that for many people he is still alive. Sai Baba’s tomb is not dead. It is still alive. But the same thing you will not feel near many tombs — they are dead. By ‘dead’ I mean they have accumulated all their involvement, they have disappeared.

When I am dead, don’t bury my body, don’t burn it, because I will be involved in you, many of you. And if you can feel, then a sage remains alive for many years, sometimes thousands of years — because life is not only of the body. Life is an energy phenomenon. It depends on the involvement, on how many persons he was involved in. And a person like Buddha is not only involved with persons, he is involved even with trees, birds, animals; his involvement is so deep that if he dies his death will take at least five hundred years.

Buddha is reported to have said, ‘My religion will be a live force for only five hundred years.’ And the meaning is here, because he will be a live force for five hundred years. It will take five hundred years for him to get out of the involvement totally. When death happens, be silent. Watch!

All over the world, whenever you pay respect to a dead man, you become silent, you remain silent for two minutes — without knowing why. This tradition has been continued all over the world. Why silence? The tradition is meaningful. You may not know why, you may not be aware, and your silence may be filled with inner chattering, or you may do it just like a ritual — that is up to you. But the secret is there.

Source – Osho Book “And The Flowers Showered”

Question – Yesterday you said that the understanding of death is the basis of eastern psychology, and the understanding of sex is the basis of western psychology. will you please say something more about it?

Osho – Death is the greatest thing that is going to happen in life; death is the climax. Death has to be understood, because death is the goal of life: all life is moving towards death. Not to understand death will really mean not to understand life.

But we have been taught to avoid the fact of death; we don’t talk about it, we don’t think about it. The very idea gives shivers; a trembling arises in the being and we want to be occupied somewhere else. When somebody dies you feel a little embarrassed. It looks like this is not the thing to be done — why should he die? Anybody’s death brings you again and again to the awkward situation, and the awkward question arises in your being: ‘One day, am I also going to die?’ — and that you want to avoid.

The East has not avoided anything. That’s the beauty of the Eastern psychology: Whatsoever is, IS — and it has to be looked into. Death is, so death has to be looked into, it has to be faced. And you will see that a person who avoids death will be avoiding life also, because there is only one way to avoid death — to avoid life, otherwise life is always leading you towards death. Whatsoever you do, you are going towards death…. Don’t do anything: the only way to avoid death is to avoid life.

There is a way, you can manage: you can fall into a coma. Then you can live longer, because then there will be no accidents. The doctor can give you intravenous injections, feed you through injections, and you can lie down on the bed, protected, and you can live very long. You can live one thousand years, but that will not be life, that will be vegetating — you will be a vegetable. But you can live long.

There are a few people Lying in underground, air-conditioned chambers in America, who have died. But they have made a will that their money should be used to protect their body, because there is a rumour in scientific circles that within twenty years it will be possible to revive a person. So they have made a trust-fund out of their whole properties. It is very costly — almost ten thousand dollars per day — but their bodies are being taken care of so that nothing goes wrong. So after twenty years, when science becomes capable of reviving them, they will be revived. Now these twenty years… and even after twenty years when you are revived, what are you going to do? You will repeat the same foolishness that you were doing before. You will again start chasing women, and competing in the market, and arranging money to die and be protected again. What is the point of it all?

Man is so afraid of death. The East says that death has to be looked in the eyes, death has to be looked into deeply. If you can look. if you can encounter death, in that very encounter you transcend death. You come to know that there is some element in you which is beyond death. Avoiding death, you remain under the control of death: facing death, you transcend death.

We never think about our own death. Whenever we think, it is always somebody else’s death: death means somebody else’s death — ABC — never yours.

Finklestein was arguing with a salesman.
‘I don’t want I should buy your eggs’ he shouted. ‘My hotel should burn down and I wouldn’t buy them. My wife should die and I wouldn’t buy them. My children should choke and I wouldn’t buy them.’
The egg peddler caught the spirit of the argument and said ‘You should go blind and buy a case.’
‘Listen’ cautioned Finklestein ‘leave ME out of it.’

Whenever you are talking about death, danger, you are always leaving yourself out of it. That is no way to encounter, that is no way to face, the reality and truth of life. If death is, death is — what is the point of avoiding it? Look at it. The sooner you look, the better.

The East says that by looking deeply into death, you transcend death; suddenly, you become aware that one who can look into death is beyond death. Deep meditation brings you to the moment of death voluntarily and consciously. Meditation is a death: one dies and is reborn again. One dies from the world of phenomena, and one is born into the world of noumena. One dies to the temporal, and one is born into the eternal. When you come back from your deep ecstasy in meditation, your whole life is transformed Then you live without fear, because there is no death. But from the very childhood we are making people afraid. From the very childhood everybody is protecting himself — we even contaminate children’s minds.

One Sunday at the zoo, Bill and his father stopped before the lion’s cage.
‘Here’s the king of the beasts’ said his father.
‘Why do you call him that, Daddy?’
Well, he’s the big shot. He can lick any other animal. He’s a real man-eater too.’
‘You mean he would even eat you?’ asked the boy.
‘I guess he would — if he got out.’
Bill studied the lion with interest. Finally, he turned and looked up at his father.
‘Daddy’ he whispered ‘if he does get out, what bus should I take home?’

Nobody thinks, not even a child thinks, that death will not leave him — he will be left out OF it. It will take Daddy and he will have to go home, so ‘What number bus?’ There is something in the human mind that keeps away from death, and there is a reason in it, there is a cause, because mind is going to die. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO DIE. But don’t misunderstand me. When I say you are not going to die, I am talking of something inside you which you are not aware of.

Your mind is going to die. That’s all you have known about yourself, and even that you have not known totally, only a fragment of the mind you know. Your mind is going to die, your mind is not eternal: it is a time-phenomenon, it is born and it dies. Your body is going to die: it is a constructed thing; it is the meeting of your father and mother; it is accidental. But you, you existed before your father and mother had ever met, and you will exist when your body has gone into the earth — disappeared, ‘dust to dust’. You will exist. But that you, you have not known yet.

The East says: That element can be known only when you encounter death, when you face death, when you accept the challenge of death. Then you will see that deep inside, body is gone, mind is gone, ego is gone. And if you remain courageous and go on facing the fact, you will come to a moment when suddenly you will see that all is gone and Yet you are. And this is your reality. This is the answer to the question ‘Who am l?’

Source – Osho Book “Tao: The Pathless Path, Vol 1″

Question – Beloved Master, I am puzzled as to why i have identified myself with this particular body and ego. and if my essence is in the universal consciousness, what keeps me from seeing through the eyes of other beings?

Osho – An old businessman was dying…. It was evening time, the sun was setting and it was becoming darker. Suddenly, the old man opened his eyes and asked his wife who was holding his hand, sitting by his left side, “Where is my eldest son?”
The wife was surprised. This was the first time he had ever inquired so lovingly about the eldest son. He had never bothered about his children — he had no time.
The wife said, “Don’t be worried. He is sitting on your right side.”
He said, “Then what about the second son?”
She said, “He is also sitting on your right side, by your eldest son’s side.”

At that moment, the dying man, who had only few breaths left, suddenly came to life. He had not been sitting for months, he was so sick and so weak. But he managed to sit up and ask, “Where is my youngest son?”
The wife said, “Don’t get so worried. They are all here — he is just sitting by your feet.”
He said, “And you say to me not to be worried…! If they are all here, then who is tending the shop?”
And the man fell down and died with heart failure.

What do you think this man is going to be in his next life? The law of existence is that whatever essential desire is at the moment of your death, that becomes the seed of your next life. It will be easy to understand it this way — you can even experiment….

When you are going to sleep, just watch what is the last thought before you fall asleep. And then when you wake up, remember what is the first thought. You will be surprised — they are exactly the same thought. The thought that you fall into sleep with is the thought that you wake up with. The same is true about death, because death is a little longer life, a little deeper sleep, but the law is the same. Whatever is the last desire hovering on your mind and being while you are dying will be the first when you wake up in another life. This will create the passage and the form of your birth.

The question is that if consciousness is universal then why can’t you see from other people’s eyes? Consciousness is universal, but for you it is only a principle, not an experience. Principles are good if you are sitting an examination; they are of no use as far as existence is concerned. If it was your experience that you have a universal consciousness then you would be able to see from other people’s eyes too. In fact, they would not be other people any longer.

I will tell you one incident that happened in Ramakrishna’s life. It is not a story, it is a historical fact…. Ramakrishna died from cancer of the throat. The cancer became so big that it clogged the whole throat. He could not eat anything, he could not drink anything. It was really a tragic scene for his disciples. They all persuaded Vivekananda, Ramakrishna’s very close disciple, to ask Ramakrishna, “Why don’t you ask God. If you ask, that very moment the cancer will disappear.”

He tried many times. He would close his eyes, tears of joy and ecstasy would flow, and when he opened his eyes he would say, “It was so beautiful.”
But they would ask, “Have you asked? For what did you go into meditation?”
He said, “This is a difficult thing. The moment I reach into deep meditation I forget all about the body, all about the cancer. I even forget all about God. It is so ecstatic and so blissful.”

Then they all approached Ramakrishna’s wife, Sharda, and asked her, “Now, only you may be able to persuade him. We have failed.”
Sharda had never asked for anything in her whole life. And many times Ramakrishna had told her, “You have never asked for anything. You are a strange wife. Every wife asks for something, goes on asking continuously; her desires are never fulfilled.”

Sharda said, “Finding you I have found everything, but if you insist then promise me just one time, if I ask something you will have to fulfill it.” And he promised.
So all the disciples said, “This is the time. What are you waiting for? He is dying, and he has a promise to fulfill. So you go and ask him.”

She asked. Ramakrishna closed his eyes. This time there were no tears, no ecstasy. He was simply calm and quiet, and then he opened his eyes and said, “Sharda, you will have to forgive me, I cannot fulfill your demand. The reason is, I have asked the ultimate reality to remove this cancer because my people are unnecessarily suffering because I cannot eat, cannot drink, and I received the answer, `Ramakrishna, don’t be childish. It is time for you to start eating from other people’s throats! It is time for you to start drinking from other people’s throats!’

“So you have to forgive me but I have received the answer. Now all the throats here are mine, so don’t be worried about me. Now I am no longer an individual. Soon this body will be gone. But even before the body is gone, I am already one with the universal existence. Your throats are mine and your eyes are mine, and it was certainly stupid of me to ask. But because I had given the promise, I had to ask.”

Ramakrishna died within three or four days. But before he died he made it clear to everybody: “Remember, when you are eating, don’t eat anything that I don’t like, don’t drink anything that I have prohibited you, because now I will be drinking from your throats and I will be eating from your throats.”

On his death he transformed thousands of his disciples who were secretly smoking, who were drinking alcohol once in a while. Now it was impossible. Now you could not deceive because Ramakrishna was within you.

Your question is very significant but it is only theoretical. You are asking why you cannot see from other people’s eyes. You are still surrounded by your own ego, your own desires. You are living in a small cage, made by your own hands. You will have to come out of it. You will have to spread yourself all over existence, then perhaps your question will be answered. I cannot answer it because it is only theoretical.

While Ramakrishna was alive… another incident will help you to understand…. One day they were crossing over the Ganges from one side to the other side with at least thirty disciples in a boat. And suddenly, in the middle of the Ganges, Ramakrishna started shouting, “Why are you beating me? Don’t beat me, it hurts.”

And the disciples said, “What are you saying? We are your disciples all around and in the middle of the Ganges, who else can beat you?”

But tears were coming from his eyes and he showed his back. They took off his shawl to see his back. There were scratches and blood was oozing as if somebody had beaten him badly with a stick. They could not believe what had happened. And as they reached to the other side they found a crowd. A sudra, an untouchable, had touched a brahmin, and the brahmin had given him a good beating.

And the most surprising thing was that when they removed the sudra’s clothes and looked at the backs of both Ramakrishna and the sudra, the scratches were exactly the same; the blood was oozing in exactly the same way.

They asked Ramakrishna, “What happened? This man has been beaten, but why have you got his beatings on your back?”
Ramakrishna said, “He is a sudra, but he is far more developed than this brahmin. He has always been coming to me, and I have found such a deep intimacy with him.”

In English there are three words: sympathy, antipathy and empathy. `Sympathy’ means feeling with you, in your sadness, feeling your sadness; `antipathy’ means feeling happy that you are sad; and the third word, `empathy’, means not just feeling like someone else, but actually living it the way he is living it. If he has a wound, in empathy you will have a similar wound; if he dies, you will die, you have become so connected with him.

And Ramakrishna said, “This is a lesson for you. You are my disciples, but this would not have happened if any one of you was beaten. This man comes only when everybody is gone so nobody sees that a sudra has come. And slowly, slowly such a deep synchronicity has evolved that although he was beaten, I was beaten also.”
The day Ramakrishna died that sudra also died.

These are historical facts for which there were thousands of eyewitnesses. It was not very long ago, just one hundred years have passed…. It is possible to see from somebody else’s eyes, and it is possible to live through somebody’s heart, but for that you will have to withdraw all your egoistic barriers. You will have to go so deep in meditation that you become universal.

Source – Osho Book “The Sword and the Lotus”

Question – Beloved Osho, It is stated that man becomes unconscious at the time of death. Why is this so? Is it due to the terror of death or the process of death?

Osho – Neither terror of death nor the process of death make man unconscious. He has been learning unconsciousness his whole life. Death simply gives him the final certificate: “Your learning of unconsciousness is completed; you are falling into a coma.”

But this is not so for the man of awareness.
His learning is totally different.
He is learning the discipline of being conscious.

He will also die — but only superficially. Deep inside him the light of life will be still burning. He will leave the body, but the flame of life will go on moving into different forms till he comes to experience total enlightenment. Then this death is the last: he will not be born again. Now he is given the opportunity to become one with the whole… the dewdrop slipping from the lotus leaf into the ocean. He is not losing himself, he is gaining the whole ocean; he is becoming oceanic.

Man has to pass through many deaths because of his unconsciousness. And if your awareness is also just wishy-washy it is not going to help. Life is a school to learn the eternal truth of existence. But that is possible only if you are conscious. You are not even conscious when you appear to be conscious. Walking in the street, talking to people, shopping in the Mall, going to the disco, it looks as if you are conscious; it is not so.

Just watch yourself. Watch; are you aware while you are walking, or is walking just a mechanical process, just like a robot? And you will be surprised to know the difference. Just try to walk a few steps consciously and you will see the difference — and the beauty and the joy and the relaxation of walking consciously. Your whole body is in tune with existence.

Consciousness bridges you with existence.
Unconsciousness closes you into yourself.
In unconsciousness you don’t have any connection with existence.

In consciousness you are related to the whole — from the smallest blade of grass to the biggest star millions of light-years away. A conscious man is just like you, but inside there is light; and inside you there is darkness.
You go on doing things but without knowing who you are… shopping for everything except yourself! While you are talking, be alert and you will be surprised, just by your unconscious talking, how many troubles you have created, how many quarrels, fights you have created — just by talking. Just think: if you were not talking and you were just a silent man, ninety-nine percent of your troubles would be dropped. They come out of your talking!

You say something, and your wife is bound to misunderstand it. And there is no way to explain to her because whatever you explain, she has her own way of interpreting it. Slowly slowly, husbands and wives stop talking because they both have understood that this leads to quarreling, and finally to crying and weeping and throwing things.

What a strange world! — a conversation leading to throwing things and screaming and tears and pillow fights. But the reason is not talking, the reason is talking unconsciously. And the same is true about all your activities. They bring more and more misery to you, more and more suffering to you, but you go on doing the same things again and again. An unconscious man is bound to fall in the same pit again and again.

A conscious man also commits mistakes, but one mistake one time. A conscious man learns even from mistakes. He has learned something of tremendous value — that this is a mistake, and now it is not going to be repeated again. Slowly slowly, all mistakes are dropped; his life becomes a silent, joyous dance.

It is not the terror of death. You don’t know death, how can you have a terror of death? It is not the process of death, because people have died fully aware….

The day Gautam Buddha died, in the morning he gathered his people, the way you are here; perhaps it was just the same kind of morning. Buddha every day talked to his disciples, but that was a special day because he said, “Today I am going to die. I have been hearing the steps of death for a few days; now they have reached very close and it is only a question of a few hours. So if you have any question to ask, ask, because I am not going to come again — this is my last death. The wheel of life and death is going to stop for me.

“So don’t feel embarrassed even if your question is stupid; otherwise later on you will always feel sad that Buddha was available, a man of total awareness, and still you could not gather courage to ask the question.”

It is not that there were not questions in peoples’ minds — they are always there. Just as leaves grow on trees, questions grow in the mind. But at the moment when the master is going to die, nobody was going to harass him. For forty-two years he has been answering their questions, and if in forty-two years your questions are not solved, what is the point of torturing the old man who is going to die? Nobody asked.

His closest companion and caretaker, Ananda, said, “Bante” — bante is Pali for Bhagwan — “we don’t have any questions. You have answered all our questions thousands of times, and we go on asking the same questions, phrasing them differently…. At this moment we would like to just sit silently with you.”
Buddha said, “That’s good, because death has reached very close. So you allow me to die.”

There were tears, people were sobbing…. They have loved this man their whole life, and it is very rare — once in thousands of years such a man comes into the world and rises to such heights of consciousness, love, blissfulness. And they were also crying and weeping that tomorrow morning all that they had — a master — would not be there. And they have been stupid, they have not learned anything.

Buddha said, “I will be dying in four stages. First I will close my eyes and remove myself from the body. In the second step I will remove myself from the mechanism of the mind. In the third step I will remove myself from the world of feelings, the heart. And in the fourth step, the dewdrop will fall into the ocean.”

A man of awareness does not die in a coma. He can even give you a description of how the death is going to happen. Buddha closed his eyes. At that very moment a man came running from the town nearby, and he said, “I have just heard that Buddha is dying — and I have a question. I know I am an idiot. For forty-two years he has been passing through my village, but there was always something holding me back. A customer would come to the shop and I would say, `Buddha is always available — tomorrow I can go to see him. But this customer may not come tomorrow. He needs things now. He will go to another shop — and nobody wants to lose customers.’

“Sometimes there were friends and we had met after years, and I would say, `I can go to Buddha anytime, but these friends have come to see me after many years; it does not look right to leave them and go to Buddha.’ And so on and so forth. Sometimes it was a marriage, sometimes it was a party…. But this morning I heard that Buddha is going to die — I had to close the shop.”My wife was shouting, my children were asking, `What is the point? — you had just opened, and you are closing!’ I did not hear anybody, there was no time left, there was no time to answer all their questions. I said, `When I come back I will explain. Just right now get out of the way and let me go!’ So I have come with the question.”

Ananda said, “But you are a little late. We have given our permission that the master can disappear into the whole, and he has already entered the first stage. So please forgive us, it is not our fault. Forty-two years you have postponed; now wait a few thousand years more. When another Buddha appears, another enlightened man, then don’t be so foolish.”

But Buddha opened his eyes. He said, “Ananda, this will be a condemnation for me — that a man had come thirsty, and I was still alive and I could not quench his thirst. I can delay death a little bit, but his question has to be answered; otherwise the poor fellow will feel guilty his whole life.”

A conscious man dies in a totally conscious way, step by step. And if he wants to return before he has taken the fourth step, he can come back. His death is simply dropping the body, the mind, the heart, and finally, the individual center, into the universal whole. Each thing is perfectly done in alertness.

So it is not the process of death that makes one unconscious. And it is not the terror — because you have never seen death, so how can you be afraid of it? You don’t know what death is. You don’t know even what life is. You are alive, and unaware of life. You are unconscious in life; that’s why at the ultimate peak of life you become totally unconscious.

A man of awareness is conscious in his life; that’s why at the moment of death he becomes fully conscious. Your death says everything about your life. Your death is the ultimate declaration of your existence, how you have lived. If you fall in a coma, that means you lived in unconsciousness, you have not lived at all. You have been postponing: tomorrow, always tomorrow….

It depends on you, not on the process of death. It depends on you to prepare. Death is a great celebration if you prepare. But unprepared, you have to become unconscious. And it is good of existence that it makes you unconscious, completely unconscious before death, because death is a great surgery. Your being is taken away from the body, from the mind, from the heart, and finally from that individual self. This is the greatest surgery. Anesthesia is needed; existence provides it.

It happened in 1915, the king of Varanasi had to be operated on to remove his appendix, but the king refused to take any anesthesia, local or otherwise. And he was a man of tremendous power, not only the king. The best doctors of the world were attending him, but he said, “You have to do the surgery without anesthesia. Don’t be worried — you need not put me in unconsciousness just for a small removal. I can die consciously, which is the ultimate in surgery; your surgery is just a small game.” There was trouble. Doctors could not do the operation, it was against their training.

But they knew the man; he will not change his mind, he has never done that in his whole life. And the appendix is such a thing… it was in its last stage, it could explode any moment; and then there would be no possibility of saving the king — and the man was worth saving.

There was not time enough for doctors to decide what to do. There was no question either, because that man is not going to take anything that makes him unconscious. So finally, reluctantly, unwillingly, they operated on the man. Great surgeons were there; their hands were shaking for the first time. They had done much surgery but they had never done surgery on a man who was lying there fully conscious, with open eyes, looking at the doctors and once in a while looking at his stomach, which was being cut. This was a strange experience!

The surgery was done, the appendix was removed, and there was no trouble from the king’s side. Not even a sign of pain showed on his face or in his eyes. This is the only surgery in the whole of history which has been done without any unconsciousness. The doctors were certainly amazed. After the surgery was over they asked the king, “What is the secret? — because this has never happened before and we don’t think it is going to happen again.”

He said, “There is no secret. I have lived my life consciously — so consciously that there is no problem. I can die, too, consciously. And this was a small thing, trivial.”

So remember, it is not the terror of death, it is not the process of death. Don’t dump your responsibility on death! Accept the phenomenon that one becomes unconscious because one has lived unconsciously, and that is the ultimate outcome of one’s whole life.

If you want a conscious death, then start from this moment being conscious, because — who knows? — the moment may be death. And a man of consciousness starts almost six months before death comes — he starts feeling the steps, hearing the sound of the steps of death coming closer.

There is a very simple method — even camels can do it. Before a person dies, six months ahead, nature gives indications, but you are unconscious so you don’t understand those indications. But a very simple indication I give to you, which I don’t think you can misunderstand. Before death comes, six months before, you stop seeing the tip of your nose. Your eyes start turning upwards; it takes six months for them to turn completely upwards.

That’s why whenever a man dies people immediately close his eyes. For what reason, all around the world, do his eyelids have to be closed? Just so that nobody becomes aware that his eyes have moved upwards and there is only white left to be seen. That may make many freak out, that may give them nightmares. It is to be hidden from them. But it takes six months for eyes slowly slowly to turn upward; and when eyes start turning upward you cannot see the tip of your nose. This can be done by any camel.

But this will not help. You may become more frantic; the camel may go crazy, running here and there because now there is no time — how is his goal to be fulfilled? And there are other indications which are more subtle, which can be understood only if you live meditatively, consciously, with awareness….

Source – Osho Book “From Death to Deathlessness”

[A sannyasin has to leave because his father has a serious heart attack.]

Osho – Mm… go, and when he is able to do something, show him the nadabrahma, the humming meditation. You can do it first sitting by his side and he can watch. Then you do it and he can participate with you. That will help his heart too, and it will help something more than the body.

It is most probable that he will become interested in meditation now. After a heart attack people become interested because death has knocked at the door and they have tasted something of death. Now they can never be the same again. The old values – the old life, the competition, the market the money, the power, the prestige, the politics – all seem meaningless. Once you have tasted a little of death, then you know that all this is futile; it has no intrinsic value. One starts seeking for meaning for the first time.

So go immediately, mm? For a few days he will be very vulnerable. If you catch hold of him while he is still under the shock of the heart attack, that can become a transforming moment in his life. But if you are too late and if he has remained for two or three weeks, then he will forget all about the heart attack, and he will start moving again in the same old routine.

Death – even a glimpse, even the idea that one can die – transforms one’s whole being. Religion came into existence because of death. If there were no death, there would have been no possibility for religion to exist. And still religion exists only for those people who are very very aware of death. Animals are not aware of death. Trees are not aware of death, so there is no religion for trees and no religion for animals. Whenever a person is very materialistic, he remains more animal-like. Then he thinks only in terms of this so-called life, and he never thinks anything about death. In fact he goes on saying that people who go on thinking about death are a little perverted, morbid, ill, pathological, because he tries to deny the fact of death. He is afraid of death. Anybody who brings death to his notice seems to be the enemy.

A materialistic culture, a materialistic society, tries to avoid death. Hence so many tricks have been invented. In the west, when a person dies you put a new dress on him, you paint his face, if she is a woman, then lipstick and eyebrows and everything. You make everybody feel that the person is not dead… a beautiful casket and flowers. This is just to avoid.

You don’t want to see face to face that somebody who was alive a moment before is no more alive. You don’t want to see death as it is. You put a mask even on death. People live masked while they are alive; when they die, then too they carry the mask. It is a trick, a technology, so that you don’t face your own innermost fear. And everybody says that the dead person has gone to heaven, has gone to the world of god, that he is in paradise and will be very happy.

I was reading…. One parapsychologist, meyers, was making a great research into death and about how people feel about death when somebody nearby – a relative, a friend, a wife, a husband – dies. How do people feel? So he was enquiring of many people. One day he was invited to a party and he was sitting by the side of a very rich lady whose daughter had just died two or three days ago. He asked,. ’What do you feel? Where is your daughter now?’

’Of course,’ the lady said, ’she is with god and she is blissfully happy there. She is in paradise. But please, don’t talk about such depressing subjects.’

Now this… you can see the dichotomy, the divided mind, the split mind. ’She is happy, blissfully happy with god in paradise,’ and ’Don’t talk about such depressing subjects’ ! If she is really happy with god then why is it a depressing subject? And if it is a depressing subject why go on hiding it by saying that she is happy with god?

So man has tried to avoid death. That’s a way of avoiding religion, because religion is nothing but an encounter with death. It is a date with death, it is a romance with death. It is an adventure into death. Religion wants to face it. It is a fact – avoiding it is not going to help. The religious mind wants to face it and go deep into it, whatsoever it is. The truth of it has to be known. And in that search, meditation and prayer and yoga have arisen.

So whenever you see that some person has become very ill, seriously ill, don’t lose that opportunity. Some clouds have opened, and these are the moments that the man can see a ray of light. Help him to see. And if you love the person, that is the greatest gift you can bring to him. So go back to your father and don’t be worried, because if you are worried you will not be able to help him. Don’t go sad, because there is nothing to be sad about. Death is a fact. It is going to happen today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow. It is going to happen. Accept it. Simply go with a message to be delivered from me….

Just tell him, ’Now the right moment has come for you to enter into a different world and a different dimension, a different life. You have lived this world and death has given you the opportunity to feel and see that this is just dreamlike… any moment you can be taken away. You were almost taken away. You are still alive; now don’t waste it again in the old routine. Now make something out of the days that are given to you. Make something that can lead you beyond death, beyond time.’

And you meditate. It will depend on you, much will depend on you, on how you behave. If you are non-tense, unworried, and he can feel your silence, and he can feel your centre of tranquillity…. Just sit by his side, remember me, and just sit silently. He will be able to feel that you are not only his son – something more has happened to you. He will be able to feel that you have come with a message. For the first time you will be able to communicate with him. And that will give some roots to you also, because one has to come to a reconciliation with one’s own parents. Otherwise something remains like a hangup.

So make it a complete circle: he has given you life – you take a message to him of another life. He has given you birth – help him to meditate so he can be reborn. Then you have paid the debt. … Bring a few of my books to him, and when he can read…. Or you can read him my books and he can listen to tapes.

Source – Osho Book “Dance Your Way to God”

[A sannyasin said that Ma Vipassana who is seriously ill is his friend; he would like to do something but feels helpless.]

Osho – It is good to feel helpless… prayer arises out of helplessness. And that helplessness will help your ego to drop. If you can do something in every situation then the ego never drops. You have to come to face certain situations where you are absolutely impotent. You would like to do something but you cannot do anything… it is simply impossible to do anything. Vipassana’s situation may be very very helpful to you.

Just see the helplessness of man… and all the nonsense that ego goes on thinking. Neither birth nor death are in our hands. Nothing is in our hands. Once you realise this, prayer arises. Prayer is a cry, a deep cry, of helplessness. And prayer makes a person religious. … it is not a question of Vipassana suffering for you… she is not suffering for you. But she has given you a chance, mm?

This is how things are… but man has created a facade of power. We try in many ways – our doctors, our medicine, our this and that… this is all a power trip. It gives a feeling that everything is in control – and nothing is in control. It is just a mask. It is not only that you are feeling helpless – the doctor who is watching her, the doctor who is going to operate – he is also feeling helpless. He will not say, mm? because it is not good to say so. He will try to pretend that he is in power, in control, that he is doing whatsoever is needed. He will create a deception around himself. He is also helpless, he is also trembling inside.

Science has created a pretension, and it has helped the human ego so that man feels less helpless. Prayer by and by has disappeared. And God feels very very far away. In these moments when you suddenly become helpless and you cannot do anything, in that impotence, two possibilities open: either you become suicidal, or you can become prayerful. So use this opportunity for prayer. Go and sit beside Vipassana and pray.

[The sannyasin answers: I don’t really know if I know how to pray, Osho.]
Osho – No, no, there is no need to know how. Helplessness will give you…. It is not a question of words. Just sit helplessly by her side. And just feel your helplessness. Something will start arising. You may start bowing down to the earth, or you may start looking up at the sky. You may start saying something which you will be surprised that you can say. You will become like a small child – and what can a child do when he feels helpless, unhappy, suffers, and finds no way? The child cries for the father or mother. And that cry is tremendously meaningful. It will be tremendously meaningful for you, and for Vipassana too.

I am not saying that you have to use certain cliches, or you have to repeat some christian prayer or this and that. No, nothing – just what you can do when you feel helpless and lost. Let this opportunity be a great experience for you. Let prayer happen… let communication be there.

[The sannyasin says: I feel that I communicate with her on an astral level... but I think that this is just my imagination.]
Osho – Don’t be worried. Don’t doubt it – let it be imagination. Imagination is a faculty, and it is more potent than reason. There are many things which can happen through imagination which can never happen through reason. But in the modern mind, the moment we say something is imagination it is already condemned. We think of it as if it is unreal.

Imagination is as real as anything else. It is more real than reason, because it is more primal. Reason is just the latest arrival… just a child. Imagination is ancient. We share imagination with animals, with trees, with rocks. Reason we share with nobody. It is just a local thing – human. So don’t be worried about it – let it be imagination. Imagination simply means that you are not thinking in language, but in pictures, that’s all. It is as real, more real in fact, than the verbal mind – because it is more deep-rooted in your being than the verbal mind. The verbal mind is just a superficial layer. So don’t interfere with the imagination.

And it is not much of a question whether somebody survives or not. Because how long can one survive? We are fighting a losing battle. One day, one year, ten years – it doesn’t matter much. These few months she has been here she has changed tremendously. If she dies there is not much of a problem. She has used this life. If she lives – good. If she dies I will not feel unhappy for her. She has earned something – a certain integration – and she will be able to use it in her next life.

For me it is not a question of whether she lives or not. The whole question is whether she has earned some integration, some centring – and she has. She has been going well… she has grown much. I am happy, mm? I can say goodbye to her with happiness. There is no repentance that she missed something. So you just be prayerful by her side… it has helped you.

Source – Osho Book “Nothing to Lose But Your Head”

[A sannyasin wants to go home because his father is dying of a brain tumor but is still conscious.]

Osho – Then it is good – you go. And help him to die meditatively. Meditation is a bridge between life and death. It is of immense value while one is alive and it is also of immense value while one is dying. If you meditate while alive, it keeps you cool, detached; you remain the centre of the cyclone. And when one is dying, then the cyclone is at its peak. And if one can still be center, then there will be no need to be born again; the purpose of life is fulfilled.

This is the purpose: the whole of life is an opportunity to distract you and an opportunity to remain centred and not to be distracted. Life is a great challenge to disturb you. If you are disturbed, you are a failure. If you remain undisturbed, you have won, you are victorious. And the final test is death.

So just go and help him to be silent. Put music on – classical music will be of immense help; tell him just to listen to the music. Tell him just to watch his breath. Tell him to relax, not to fight with death, because death too is divine. And the western mind does not know-how to relax. It knows perfectly well how to fight; it is a warrior and it goes on fighting to the very end. Even against death it goes on fighting. When there is no possibility of winning, even then the old habit persists.

Tell him to relax. Tell him to allow death to possess him. Tell him to invite death; tell him to think of death not as a foe but as a friend. And be as happy as you can be by his side; that is the only way to say goodbye to somebody who is dying. People do just the opposite: around the dying man they become very serious, sad, in despair. They create an atmosphere of darkness. The man needs a little light. The man is going on a long journey – he needs people to give him a goodbye in celebration. But people make it very heavy. They think they are being friendly, sympathetic, but they are making his journey more difficult. Seeing their sadness he becomes more sad, starts clinging more to life, starts fighting desperately against death, thinking that everybody is so sad that death must be something very bad. Neither the people who are around know what death is nor does he himself know. This is not a good way to say goodbye.

Let there be music, let there be light, let there be laughter. Sing songs, be loving, and help him feel that he is moving into another kind of life – death is only a door. Only old garments are being discarded, and he will have better garments. If he can go laughing, then you really helped him. But this is good that you are going. Be by his side and help in any way you can.

Source – Osho Book “Don’t Look Before You Leap”

[A sannyasin with terminal cancer and a few weeks to live is returning to the west. Osho blesses him.]

Osho – Don’t be worried… don t be worried. I am coming with you; don’t be worried at all. You have taken it really as it should be taken. I have been very happy. Just accept everything, and something is possible through that acceptance. Even if death comes one has to accept it joyously, as a gift from god. That is the way we can transform even the nature of death; that’s the way to transcend death.

Death is going to come to everybody. It makes not much difference when; when is irrelevant. Today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow – time is not of any significance. Death comes, death has already come with one’s birth, so we are all going to die. All that can be done is in how we die.

Death cannot be avoided, nobody can avoid it; that is the only thing in life which is inevitable. So it is useless to think to avoid it. The only thing which can be done and which is of great significance is how to go through it, how to live it, how to live one’s death. Live meditatively, live lovingly, take it as a gift, and you will be surprised: death will reveal to you more than life has given. Your death can become your satori.

And I have been very happy that you have been accepting things so easily, so relaxedly…. I am with you, and I am going to make this death far more valuable than life itself. There are people who live and live in vain; and there are people who die but who die in such an artistic way, with such skill. with such awareness, that even death becomes a blessing. So if it comes, it comes; that is nothing to be worried about. Never pay a single thought to it….

Just enjoy and be happy. And because days are few one has to live very intensely and joyously. Others can afford… they will be living for a few more years so they can afford to waste life; You can’t afford to. You have to live each moment. Each moment is so precious.

So be meditative, be relaxed, be accepting. If it comes, we are going to transform it. If it doesn’t come, we will wait! When it comes we will transform it then…. You will be able to attain to a great freedom through it, so simply go. And your friends, your family, they may be disturbed. Tell them not to be disturbed, because they can affect you. Just tell them joyously that it is nothing to be worried about.

Source – Osho Book “Don’t Bite My Finger, Look Where I’m Pointing”

[A sannyasin has to return to the west because her mother is dying of a life-long illness.]

Osho – So it is a good release for her, mm? She should not be prevented, she should be helped to leave the body. Because life in each and every case is not a blessing. It is a blessing only if one can use the opportunity to grow; then it is a blessing. Otherwise it is a curse because it is unnecessary suffering.

It is good for her to leave the body and to be again in a new body so she can start growing. When one is ill for so long the whole energy is taken up in the illness; nothing is left to grow. And when one is ill for so long one tends to become the body more and more, because the body is constantly there, hurting, reminding one of its existence; the whole consciousness becomes focussed on the pain. When the body is healthy, in a flow, then one can turn inwards one can feel oneself more as a consciousness. And to feel oneself as consciousness is the whole search. So just go and help her.

If you find her still alive, help her to die very peacefully, almost joyously. And then a miracle is possible. If she can die joyously, ecstatically, whatsoever she has missed in life she may still have a chance to gain in death. And sometimes it happens that a fifty-year-long life may have been useless and in five seconds of a beautiful death all is gained.

So help her to forget the body; help to remind her that she is a transcendental consciousness, an immortal consciousness. Just go and sit silently by her side, meditatively. Put your hand on her head and remind her to relax and to let go of the body, not to cling, just to let go of the body, to surrender it to existence. And if you can help her to die silently, meditatively, you have served her.

Take a box for her, mm? and put it on her navel, because it is from there that life will be leaving her body. People who have lived deep in illness almost always die from the navel centre. Put it on her navel, you put your hands on her head and tell her to relax, and I will do my best, mm? Make it a beautiful death.

Source – Osho Book “The 99 Names of Nothingness”

[A sannyasin’s father has died after a long illness and she says: I have to go somehow more to be with my mother, to finish something there. There is something there that feels so... unfinished emotionally with her, and now seems the time.]

Osho – It is always so with parents… very difficult to finish. The relationship is such that to finish it needs great awareness – only then can it be finished. Even the idea to finish it may not allow it to finish. So don’t carry that idea – that you have to finish it. Just be there… naturally there, lovingly there. Do whatsoever you can do – because parents have done much, and in the West they are not even thanked for it. Nobody feels any gratitude.

In the East it has been totally different. In the East it is never an unfinished situation. It is always
complete, because parents have given so much and children have always been giving as much reverence as possible, as much respect as possible. Mm? that has become so natural in the East, and it has to be so for a very deep reason.

If you are not in rapport with your patents you will not be in rapport with yourself, because parents are not just an accidental phenomenon – they are deeply in your roots… you come from them. Half of your being comes from your mother, half of your being comes from your father. They both will carry on in you. All their conflict will continue in you… all their anxieties will deep down continue. It is for your sake that you have to come to a rapport. And the easiest way is not to make any effort for it.

Effort will never help – it is very artificial. So drop this idea, otherwise you will come back feeling again that something has remained incomplete. Simply drop that idea. Go there…. In fact in the east it has been always said that there is no way to repay… no way. Whatsoever we owe to our parents, there is no way to repay it – it is not possible. This has been accepted. With this acceptance, repayment becomes easy, because then there is no problem. If it cannot be done, there is no problem. So we love, we respect.

Just go there, be there. And she will need you in this moment. When your father is gone she will be in a great sorrow – she will need you. So don’t make any effort deliberately, mm? Just be with her, caress her, care about her… sometimes meditate with her, help her to meditate if she can. Otherwise just tell her that you will meditate in her room. She can simply rest in her bed – you will meditate. And that very vibration will help her.

Be happy. It will be difficult in a situation, in this situation, but still be happy. Take cheerfulness for her… make the burden light. Help her to accept the situation. And don’t bother about your relationship, mm? simply don’t bother about it, and suddenly you will see that it is healed. It is indirect – you cannot work directly. And if for two, three weeks you can be very loving and helping and she feels happy that you have come – she feels happy that you have some totally different kind of energy that she needed… that you have been a nourishment to her – that’s enough. You will feel a rapport coming.

If we can be loving, no relationship remains hanging. Each moment it has a completion. And I don’t like the word’finished’, because that seems like a dead end, a full stop, as if something has been closed, filled in, and closed… no need to bother about it – finished. The connotation of that word is not very good – that it was something which had to be done. One is happy that it was finished – that one is out of it, that one need not look back again, that one is able to forget all about it now. That is implied in the word’finished’.

I like the word ’completion’. Completion is never finished in a way and yet it is complete. Each moment of it is a complete moment. If I die right now, my relationship with you all is complete. If I live, the relationship continues. Completion is not against continuity. Finishing is against continuity. Completion is each moment but with an opening into the future – it is not a closed thing.

In fact the more complete a relationship is, the more it becomes open – open-ended – and you can look forward; there is no need to look back. Not that it is finished so there is no need to look back – there is no need to look back because now you can look forward. There is future, there is hope, there is thrill. The next moment will bring another completion. We go from completion to completion, from perfection to another perfection.

And nothing should be finished while you are alive – how and why should it be finished? Everything should continue – that’s what your life is. The more rich it is, the more it is related. If you have thousands of relationships of course you have a richer life, because they all pour their love energy in you and they all share your love energy. You live tremendously enriched in that give and take, in that sharing, in that meeting of energies.

In the West that too is happening – people are becoming very very poor in their relationships. It is becoming a very very small circle every day. First the joint family disappeared – otherwise it was a wider circle. Uncles and aunts were all living together, and children of the uncles and the aunts and the cousins and faraway cousins – they were all living together. It was a big family. One had a better possibility of communion, of relationship. One was richer because of it.

Then the joint family dropped, disappeared. The family became a very small unit wife, husband, children. Now even that is dropping! Even wives and husbands are not living together. Even children are like a burden – servants are taking care of them. The wife has her own life, the husband has his own life. They meet like strangers. The home is no more a home – it is more like a hotel.

At the most a house, but not a home. There is no communion left. Yes, people stay overnight, meet and talk and even make love – but the communion is not there. And people are becoming very very poor.

That’s why these growth groups have become so important in the west. A great need to commune, to relate, to touch people, to be touched by people, exists – and that is fulfilled nowhere. Hence so much impact of encounter, gestalt, psychodrama. They will spread because the family has disappeared and they have become now a temporary sort of family. For ten days you meet in a group – twenty people. At least for ten days twenty people become a family. One wants to relate and belong.

In the East it will be difficult. Unless the family disappears these groups cannot function. People ask me why I am not allowing indians in the groups. I am not allowing because it is pointless! They still live in big groups… the family still survives. Maybe it has disappeared in Bombay and Calcutta – then I will allow Bombay, Calcutta people by and by but in the greater india it is not a problem at all.

In small villages the whole village exists like a family – everybody is related to everybody; nobody is unrelated. Everybody is taken care of by the community. So it is impossible for indians to conceive of any need to be touched, hugged, and they cannot see… they will think, ’These people are crazy! What are they doing?’

There is no need to finish any relationship, but there is a need to make every relationship so complete each moment That if you drop dead suddenly there is nothing left which is incomplete. You will not hang… your spirit will not haunt people. You will simply disappear on your path. There will be no need to look backward – everything is complete.

Source – Osho Book “The Buddha Disease”