Osho on Love

Osho – Simple method of Meditation for Latin Lovers

Question – Just a simple method of Meditation to suggest to Latin Lovers, So they may find their way?

Osho – The simplest method for lovers is, while they are making love they should make it a sacred experience. All the religions have destroyed the sacredness of love. They have condemned it as sin. And the conditioning has gone so deep in the human mind that people are making love in such a hurry, as if they want to finish it as quickly as possible.

Naturally, if it is a sin it is better finished soon. Their hearts are guilt-ridden, their minds completely full of sin. If lovers want to make love a meditative experience, then the first thing is to drop the idea that it is sin, that it is something wrong. It is something immensely beautiful, a tremendous gift of nature, of existence, for which you should not be guilty, you should be grateful! And to show your gratefulness you have to make a special place for it.

Every house and every couple which can afford it should have a separate room just for love: no other vibe there — no fight, no argument, no throwing of pillows. They should enter the room after taking a bath, as if they are going into a temple. The room should be full of beautiful burning incense; there should not be glaring lights — just candles, dim light.

And they should not be in a hurry, because the foreplay is immensely important, for the simple reason that the woman’s whole body is erotic. Man’s whole body is not erotic; his sexuality is local, just limited to his genitalia. But the woman’s whole body is erotic, and unless her whole body starts throbbing with joy, with ecstasy, she will not have any orgasmic experience. If the man plays enough with the woman’s body, the woman plays enough with the man’s body… and the meditation technique is: while you are playing with each other’s body, remain a witness, don’t get identified.

So there are four persons, not two: the woman and the witness inside, the man and the witness inside. The witness is simply watching what the man is doing to the woman, what the woman is doing to the man. The witness has no judgment of good and bad; it is simply like a mirror, showing what is happening. This witnessing is nothing but awareness, alertness, consciousness. And particularly in the foreplay, if you are conscious, alert, then there is a possibility you both will know the exact time when your bodies are ready to make love. You will feel the bio-electricity of each other’s body.

When you start making love, don’t be in a hurry. Let the woman be always on top. The missionary posture is the worst posture in the whole world. In the East nobody knew before the Christians reached there that the man can be on top of the woman. It is so brutal, it is so ugly.

The woman is delicate, and a huge animal is doing pushups over her! In India it is called the missionary posture, because it was known only when missionaries came to India. They made India aware that this too is possible; otherwise, the woman is always to be on top. And scientifically it is right that the woman should be on top, because then she can be more active and the man can be less active. If the man is on the top, the woman cannot be more active, the man is more active. If he is more active, he comes to his ejaculation very soon, and the woman has not yet come to the point where she can have an orgasm.

If the woman is on top and she is active, and the man remains inactive, there is ever possibility that by the time the woman comes to orgasm the man will be coming to orgasm. And if both come to orgasm at the same time, then there is a tremendous meeting and merging, as if bodies disappear and two souls are no longer two souls, two beings are no longer two beings. And the witnessing continues. That is your inner work of meditation that goes on: you are witnessing.

After your orgasm has settled, slowly slowly disappearing, watch it. Watch as it is coming up, watch as it explodes, watch as it starts settling back again to the normal state of your bodies. Then don’t be in a hurry to separate from each other; remain together for awhile. In tantra that is called valley orgasm. That is not known to millions of people. The first orgasm was peak orgasm. You had met together on a peak of your energy, now the peak has disappeared. But every peak has a valley by its side; without a valley there can be no peak.

So if you can remain silently watching together, you will be amazed: there is another orgasm with a totally different beauty, a different depth, a different joy — the valley orgasm. Until the valley orgasm disappears and you come back again to normal, don’t separate. Meanwhile, all the time the witnessing continues. When you separate, don’t just start going to sleep. Something very essential is still there, and that is the afterplay. You have made such a turmoil in the whole energy of each other’s bodies, minds, that it is needed. You massage each other’s bodies, play with each other’s body, and have beautiful incense, flowers, candlelight, music… if you feel like dancing, you dance.

But the witnessing continues. Why am I insisting that witnessing continues? I am emphasizing it because if you do it many times, then one day you can try just(ROM witnessing, without your
man, without your woman — alone. In the same room, in the same atmosphere, with the same incense which creates the same memories, the same light, the same milieu, you start simply witnessing, sitting there.

And you are in for a great surprise. All that has been happening with the woman starts happening just inside you, without the woman or without the man. You start moving slowly to the peak orgasm — the same experience with no physical, no biological expression — and you reach to the valley orgasm, the same experience. You have learned meditation through love, and you have also learned love through meditation; they will go on enriching each other.

This will bring maturity to both the persons, and the maturity will release their repressed intelligence, awareness, lovingness, compassion. And it will destroy jealously, anger, hatred. it will bring tremendous changes in you. Those changes will be the proof that you are on the right track.

Source – Osho Book “The Last Testament, Volume 3″

Osho – The real power is love, and that love will make you softer, forgiving, without any anger

Question – Beloved Osho, Traveling with you over the past few months and seeing the hardness of the world, instead of being hardened in response I find myself only becoming softer and softer. Would you please comment?

Osho – The ordinary response will be to become even more hard, but you are not in an ordinary situation. Even a small touch of meditativeness, of silence, of love, of compassion, a small touch of the master’s presence, will mean you have totally different responses.

Seeing the hardness of the world, you will feel more compassionate towards them, you will feel softer. You will not react violently because that will be joining them in their same stupidity. Being with me, whether you know it or not you are learning thousands of things. One of them is that you cannot react.

The world may be hard — that hurts. It makes one sad that unfortunately man is still barbarous, but it does not give you the idea to curse them. On the contrary, it gives you the idea to help them, to be compassionate to them, so they can come out of their hard shells. Perhaps they are also suffering in their hardness, and there is nobody to tell them how to get out of this hardness. They are also miserable. It is out of their misery that they misbehave, because they have been mistreated. They know only that violence is power.

Seeing the world you will see that violence is not the real power. The real power is love, and that love will make you softer, forgiving, without any anger; in fact laughing at the whole hilarious situation that this world believes that it is civilized, that Charles Darwin thought that we have evolved from animals. But our behavior shows that we are still animalistic.

There has been no evolution at all. Perhaps we have lost the tail, but that is not evolution; perhaps we can stand on two feet, but that is not evolution. We are still behaving so crudely, so cruelly. And nobody is there to say it, because whoever is going to say it will be crushed, will be killed.

And you have chosen to be with a man who is saying it, and who is going to say it to the very last breath. But as far as you are concerned, this whole experience of world travel, and finding the politicians the same everywhere, finding the nations, governments, the police behaving in the same manner… it seems that we are living in a nightmare.

Only someone who is out of it can say, “This is a nightmare!” But when somebody in a nightmare is shouting and screaming, you don’t feel hard towards him; you feel soft, you want to help him. It has been a good experience. Later on when you will recapitulate, you will see it has given you a maturity which takes lives to gain.

Source – Osho Book “Beyond Psychology”

Osho – If your love is lust you can’t find a Soulmate

Question – Beloved Master, I am a strong man, But I cannot find a woman who truely loves me. What is missing in me? I have come here to find a soulmate. Can you help me?

Osho – Sudhiro, maybe… but before I can help you to find a soulmate I will have to create a soul in you, which is far more difficult! You may be physically strong; that does not mean that you have a soul.

Soul is only a seed; you don’t have actual souls within you, just possibilities. And without a soul, people start searching for a soulmate! Only a SOUL can attract another soul. If you have a soul, then some soul is bound to be attracted towards you; you will find the soulmate.

But one never thinks that way. And the idea that you are a strong man may become an obstruction, because a strong man ordinarily is one who is more animalistic. That’s our idea of strength: a man who looks more like an animal. Whenever I see the pictures of Mr. Universe I am simply puzzled — I can’t see any beauty, they look utterly ugly; all muscles and nothing else! They look more like animals than men.

And this is not health either, because they all die early and they all die with dangerous diseases, for the simple reason that they force their bodies in a certain mold. They don’t love their bodies; their bodies are tense. By the time these Mr. Universes are forty they are on the verge of dying and they succumb to great illnesses, incurable, because they themselves have created those illnesses. They have been forcing their bodies, manipulating their bodies. They have succeeded, but at a great cost.

Strength, in the ordinary mind, means aggressiveness. And a woman needs a little more tenderness, not aggressiveness. And who knows, Sudhiro? You may just be carrying this idea that you are a strong man and you may not even be that. It may be just an ego idea, a fantasy.

Moe and Sophie had been married for twelve years. One night in bed Moe said, “Lift up your nightgown.”
Sophie did not answer.
Moe tried once again. “Hey, be a good girl. Lift up your nightgown.”
Sophie still did not reply.
Moe stormed out of the room, slamming the door. Sophie got up and locked it. For half an hour Moe walked the living room. Then he strode back to the bedroom, pushed on the door, and found it was locked.
“Open the door,” he pleaded. “I am sorry I got sore. Open the door!”
Sophie did not answer.
“If you don’t open the door I will break it down!”
“Look at my athlete!” shouted Sophie. “A nightgown he can’t lift up, but a door he will break down!”

So I don’t know how strong you are. Maybe you are able to break doors — that won’t help. You will have to learn the other art! And I don’t know, Sudhiro, how old you are — because you must have been searching long; otherwise you would not have reached here. And if you have been failing for your whole life you must have become crystallized into certain patterns. You may be aggressive, you may be a pretender, you may be less interested in love and more in conquering a woman.

There are many people who go on doing that: they go on counting how many women they have conquered. There are women also — now only in the West but soon they will be in the East too — who go on counting, as if love is a question of quantity!

A man was making love to a woman and he asked her, “Am I the first man to make love to you?”
And a long silence followed. The man asked, “Have you heard me or not?”
She said, “I have heard, but I am counting.”

There are people who keep count: how many women they have conquered, how many men they have conquered. If you are interested in conquest you are not interested in love. And when slowly slowly, life starts slipping out of your hands, when death starts knocking on your doors, you become frightened. Suddenly you become alert that you have missed something beautiful.

Love is one of the greatest experiences in life — and many miss it. They may reproduce children, they may have married many times, but love is a totally different phenomenon. It needs a great sensitivity, it needs a soul. And when time passes and energies starts waning and death comes closer, you are in a panic. That’s exactly my feeling reading your question, Sudhiro — that you are in a panic.

Two little old ladies were chatting over the backyard fence. The first one boasted, “I went out with old man Cain last night and I had to slap him twice.”
“To stop him?” asked her friend.
“No,” she giggled, “to start him!”

But it is good that you have come here. If you cannot start, we can slap you! Something is always possible. One thing that you need is: rather than searching for a soulmate, become a soul, become more conscious. When love is unconscious it is only lust and nothing else — a beautiful name for an ugly thing. When love is conscious, only then it is love. But how many people are conscious? When love is meditative, only then it is love.

And a meditative love will attract a meditative love energy. You get only what you deserve, remember, neither less nor more. You always get exactly that which you deserve. Existence is very just and very fair. So if you are not getting a soulmate, it is not going to help to frantically search for one. Rather look in. You are missing something in you — you are missing love qualities. You are not tender, you are not sensitive, you are not conscious. And you don’t know how to give without asking anything in return. Your love is a demand, there is a condition to it. It is a kind of exploitation. You want to use the other’s body, and no woman is ever happy if she is used — she hates it.

Millions of women hate their husbands for the simple reason that they feel used, as if they are just machines for your sexual lust to be relieved so that you can have a good night’s sleep. No woman can ever respect you if she feels she is being used. Each being is an end unto himself. Never use a woman, never use a man, never use anybody. Nobody is a means for your purposes. Respect — love is a sharing, it is not using the other, it is not trying to snatch something from the other. On the contrary, it is giving wholeheartedly for no reason at all, just for the sheer joy of giving.

And then suddenly you will find one day you have found someone with whom your energies are in harmony, in accord. And it is a beautiful experience even to find a single person with whom you are in accord. And here you can find many persons with whom you are in accord.

You can’t imagine my ecstasy, because I am in accord with all of my sannyasins, in deep accord, a tremendous harmony. Then love reaches its highest peak. It is no more sexual, it is pure prayer. And when love is prayer, you have found the soulmate.

But if your love is lust you can’t find a soulmate, you can only find some woman’s body. And the body is not going to help fulfill your longing. You need attunement with the soul, with the inner being, with the interiority of the woman or of the man. At least with one person if it happens, great joy arises. And then when you know the art, it can happen with many more people. And that’s what friendship is.

My effort here is to create a commune where thousands of souls are in such deep friendship, in such love, as if they are all soulmates. We can release such great light into the world through that energy field! We can start such a revolution in the world, we can ignite such fire, that it will go on burning in the future, down the centuries, helping people to be transformed, to be reborn.

Source – Osho Book “The Dhammapada, Vol 7″

Osho – The basic problem of love is to first become mature

Osho – You can go on changing your husband or your wife a thousand and one times, you will again find the same type of woman and the same misery repeated in different forms – but the same misery repeated; it is almost the same. You can change your wife, but you are not changed. Now who is going to choose the other wife? You will choose. The choice will come out of your immaturity again. You will choose a similar type of woman again.

The basic problem of love is to first become mature, then you will find a mature partner; then immature people will not attract you at all. It is just like that. If you are twenty-five years of age, you don’t fall in love with a baby two years old, you don’t fall. Exactly like that. When you are a mature person psychologically, spiritually, you don’t fall in love with a baby. It does not happen, it CANNOT happen. You can see that it is going to be meaningless.

In fact a mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word ’fall’ is not right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have that integrity to stand alone.

A mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives. And when a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you have accepted his love, not vice versa. He does not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks. He thanks you for accepting his love. And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they are together so much so that they are almost one. But their oneness does not destroy their individuality, in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual.

Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate the person you love? Just think over it. Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity. How can you think of dominating a person you love? You would love to see the person totally free, independent; you will give him more individuality. That’s why I call it the greatest paradox: they are together so much so that they are almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their individualities are not effaced – they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.

Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.

Remember, freedom is a higher value than love. That’s why in India, the ultimate we call MOKSHA; MOKSHA means freedom. Freedom is a higher value than love. So if love is destroying freedom, it is not of worth. Love can be dropped; freedom has to be saved: freedom is a higher value. And without freedom you can never be happy – that is not possible. Freedom is the intrinsic desire of each man, each woman – utter freedom, absolute freedom. So anything that becomes destructive to freedom – one starts hating it.

Don’t you hate the man you love? Don’t you hate the woman you love? You hate. It is a necessary evil; you have to tolerate it. Because you cannot be alone you have to manage to be with somebody, and you have to adjust to the other’s demands. You have to tolerate, you have to bear them. Love, to be really love, has to be ’being-love’, ’gift-love’. ’Being-love’ means a state of love. When you have arrived home, when you have known who you are, then a love arises in your being. Then the fragrance spreads and you can give it to others. How can you give something which you don’t have? To give it, the first basic requirement is to have it.

Source: from Osho Book “The Tantra Vision Volume 2″