Question – Osho, Should Childten be told all the facts of Life, Irrespective of their age?

Osho – Govinddas, IT HAS always been a problem down the ages — what to tell children and what not to tell. Parents have been very much concerned. In the past the strategy was not to tell about the facts of life, to avoid it as far as possible, because people were very much afraid about the facts of life.

The very phrase ‘facts of life’ is a euphemism; it simply hides a simple thing. Not to say anything about sex, even to avoid the word ‘sex’ they have made this metaphor, ‘facts of life’. What facts of life? — it is just not to say anything about sex.

The whole past of humanity has lived with that deception, but the children discover sooner or later. And in fact they discover sooner than later, and they discover in a very wrong way. Because no right person is ready to tell them, they have to do their work on their own. They collect, they become peeping Toms — and you are responsible for reducing them to peeping Toms. They collect from all wrong sources, from ugly people. They will carry those wrong notions their whole lives, and you are the cause of it. Their whole sex life may be affected by that wrong information that they have gathered.

Now there is as much wrong information prevalent in the world about sex as is possible. Even in this twentieth century people are living with immense ignorance about sex, even people who you would think should know better. Even your doctor does not really know what sex is, does not know its complexity. He should know, but even doctors live very superstitiously; they also know things from the marketplace. In no medical college is sex taught as a separate subject — such an immense, powerful subject and yet nothing is taught about it.

Yes, the physiology of sex is known by the physician, but the physiology is not all; there are deeper layers: there is psychology, there is spirituality. There is a psychology to sex and there is a spirituality to sex; the physiology is only the surface. Much research has been done there, and in this century we know more than ever before, but the knowledge is not becoming prevalent.

People are afraid, because their parents were afraid and that fear has become infectious. And you are afraid, Govinddas, and you don’t want to tell your children about it. You have to tell your children about it, you owe it to them. And you have to be truthful. Don’t shirk from truth — in the long run truth always pays — and don’t lie.

“Mom, do we get our food from God?”
“Yes, we do, Barbara.”

“And at Christmas time does Santa bring all our presents?”
“That’s right.”

“And on my birthday the good fairy brings presents?”
“Hmm… ”

“And did the stork bring little brother?”
“True.”
“Then what the heck does Pop hang around here for?”

It is better to be truthful! But I am not saying to jump upon your children and start being truthful whether they want it or not. Now that is happening — the other extreme — particularly in the West, because the psychologists go on saying that the truth has to be told. People go on telling the truth whether the children are enquiring about it or not. That too is wrong. Wait! If the child enquires, be truthful; if he does not enquire there is no need, he is not interested yet.

At the dinner table the old man almost choked when his little eight-year-old boy asked, “Daddy, where do I come from?”

Reddening, Pop said, “Well, I guess the time has come for you and I to have a man-to-man talk. After dinner I will tell you about the birds and the bees.”

The kid said, “What birds and bees? Little Frankie down the block told me he came from Chicago. All I want to know is where I come from!”

So wait a little. They themselves will ask, you are not to be in such a hurry. And remember, whatsoever is the case, be truthful, howsoever hard it seems to you. It will be hard for you because truth was not told to you by your parents; for centuries it has not been told. Everybody gathers it from rumors, nobody ever tells it to his own children. People feel embarrassed, afraid that the children may discover. Drop all these fears, and don’t try in any way to deceive the children. It can be dangerous.

The six-year-old Luigino comes back from school where he has learned three new words without knowing their meaning, so he asks his mother, “Mom, what do prick, puss and balls mean?”

The mother, extremely embarrassed, answers, “Well, dear, prick means cheese, puss means chair, and balls mean boots.”

After a few days the grandmother, a pious, prudish country lady, visits her daughter and nephew. She rings the bell and Luigino opens the door. The old woman hugs the child and Luigino, proud of his new vocabulary, says, “Granny, you must be tired. Sit down on this puss.” The woman almost faints, but Luigino goes on without hesitating. “And if you are hungry eat this piece of prick.”

Shocked and horrified the grandmother finally asks, “Luigino, where is your mum?”
“Ah, she is in the room polishing daddy’s balls!”

Source – from Osho Book “The Guest”

[A sannyasin, who is a mother, says: I feel this longing to have another child and I feel very split about it. I feel that it’s crazy and yet there’s this longing inside me to have a child.
Osho checks her energy.]

Osho – It is crazy in a way, and yet there is some rationale in it. A few things I would like to say to you – meditate over them…. The first is: you have not been able to love and you have not been able to be loved tremendously. Something is missing in your love, so you want to substitute it. You are not really fulfilled in your love. It is okay, but nothing like a crescendo, nothing like a peak. You have not been driven crazy by it – that’s why the hankering. You want to project your love onto the child.

The second thing: you feel empty so you want to make yourself full by anything…. And these are the two ways women try: either they start eating too much, stuffing their belly, or they start thinking of pregnancy. That gives a sort of fullness, one feels full… but both are dangerous! One should eat not because one wants to stuff the belly but because food is needed.

And you have a child, you are already a mother, so there is no point in creating many children. And this will not help – another child and again you will feel… because after nine months again you will be empty. And pregnancy cannot be a permanent thing. After nine months the child has to come out and again you will feel empty, and again you will want to fill the emptiness.

That has happened down the ages to millions of women: for their whole life they have been just getting pregnant and getting pregnant and getting pregnant. In india it happens too much: a woman is almost like a factory – she goes on producing; she is just like an assembly line. When she is pregnant she feels okay; when she is not pregnant she feels empty.

So you have a certain feeling of emptiness and this is no way to fill it. It can be filled; it can be filled in such a way that each moment of your life can become full, but pregnancy won’t do it.
It is enough that you have given birth to a child. Now, help the child to become a free man rather than bringing up many children whom you will not be able to take care of, whom you will not be able to help to grow.

[She answers: I already feel my child is leaving. She’s ten years old and she’s growing up.]

That’s very good! It is good, because now you have to do something bigger than giving birth to
a child, mm? And the third thing: your mind is very restless so it needs occupation – and a child
gives occupation, one is occupied continuously. It is a good occupation so that one can escape from oneself. One can focus on the child and forget oneself, but for how long? One day or other one has to encounter oneself, and the sooner the better.

It is good that you have come. Something can be done, and all these three things can disappear. Once they have disappeared you will find a totally new style of life. My feeling is that you have not really lived as you should have lived, you have not lived with intensity. Yes, everything has been comfortable, convenient, so-so, lukewarm. You have not come to the one hundred degree point where one evaporates.

But you have come in the right moment in a way – before you take some other step in which you again get involved for many years. A child is a long commitment. It is not a play. Mm? – again you will be getting involved for twenty years. By the time the child becomes mature, you will be involved… and! don’t think it is worth it. Something greater is needed.

You can become mother to yourself; that’s what is needed. You need a new birth yourself, you have to become a womb to yourself so you can become twice born. There are two types of people: once born and twice born. Those once born remain in misery, but those who are twice born become blissful. That’s what Jesus means when he says that unless you are born again nothing is going to happen. A rebirth is needed. You have the capacity and the energy is there, but blocked, fragmentary not one piece. It can come into one tremendous force.