Question – I have controlled and disciplined my sex life for years, But i am still much too interested in it. why?

Osho – That’s why. It is so simple, so obvious. You have remained obsessed with it — otherwise why control it? Why repress it? What is control except repression?
You became too attached to it; it was an attachment. And as time has passed, the attachment has deepened. Of course your attachment is negative, hence the question. Because you have been against it, you thin, “Why am I still interested?”

In fact if you are negatively attached to something, your attachment will go on deepening as time passes; it will never end. If you are positively attached, there is a possibility of its ending, because experience liberates. I you had known sex, by now you would have been finished with it, because it is childish; it does not have the power that negative attachment creates.

Sex in itself is not that powerful. It appears very powerful, because we have been taught to be against it: our antagonism gives it power. And the more you ar against it, the less experienced you are about it, the more the desire arises to experience it.

In fact, monks remain interested in sex to the very end: they die thinking of sex and nothing else — it is a simple psychological truth. But the question arises because we only think of positive attachment as attachment.

Attachment has two forms, positive and negative. And the negative is far deeper than the positive, because there is no way to end the negative attachment. The positive attachment will wear, wither. You have known sex and its experience: slowly slowly, you start understanding that there is nothing in it, that it is a biological urge, that it gives you nothing much. Slowly slowly, it dawns upon your consciousness that it is a futile repetition.

And I am not saying to think that it is a futile repetition. If you think without understanding, that thinking will be repression; that will be negative attachment. I am not saying to judge it; the judgment arises on its own.

But when you are negatively attached to something, you go on escaping from it. When will you experience it? And the more you escape, the more the urge remains fresh, young. And the more you repress it, the deeper it goes into your unconscious and grips you at the roots. From the leaves it moves to the roots. From the leaves there was a possibility of evaporating, because the leaf was exposed to the sun, to experience, to life. Once it has reached your roots underground, now there is no way for it to evaporate.

Attachment is the sine wave of ‘submission — resistance’. When you submit to something or resist something, or hate something, or identify with something, you are attached to it. Remember, saying yes is an attachment: submission. Saying no is an attachment: resistance. And the second attachment is far deeper.

That’s why friendships are not as great as enmities. Friendships are so-so, lukewarm. Enmities are very passionate, very hot. Enmities live long, for years; there seems to be no way to end an enmity. Friendship withers. You are asking, “Why am I still interested?” You will remain interested to the very end.

Drop your resistance, drop the negative attachment, go into the experience of sex. Don’t be afraid, there is nothing to be afraid of. It is not so important that you need to be afraid of it; by becoming afraid, you are making it something big. It is not such a big deal, it is a small biological phenomenon.

Priests have magnified it very much. The whole responsibility goes to the priests: they have made the whole of humanity sexual, utterly sexual. Without the priest there would be no pornography in the world, without the priest there would be no prostitutes in the world, without priests there would be no obscenity in the world. They are the root causes.

But it is very difficult to see he point, because they are against all these things — if you listen to their words, they are against them. Naturally you think if people are against something, how can they be the source of it? But they are the source. By being against, they are creating great interest, great attraction. Just let priests disappear and you will be surprised: sexuality will disappear. Sex will be there, but sex is a small thing; sexuality is a magnified obsession.

The late Dr. Kinsey was questioning a group of men about the number of times they had sex relations with members of the opposite sex. In response to his question, a group of men raised their hands to indicate that they had sex every night. Then some said they had relations ten times a month. A small group said they only did it about four times a month.

Finally, every man in the room had been accounted for except one man who was sitting in the corner. Dr. Kinsey moved closer to him. “All right. How many of you have sex relations only once a year?”

“Me! Me!” the man piped up, waving his hand wildly and wearing an ear-to-ear smile.
“Fine,” said Dr. Kinsey. “But why are you so happy about it?”
“Because tonight’s the night!” the man explained with glee. “Tonight’s the night!”

Now, if you repress for one year, this is natural. How many years have you been controlling your sex? Even an ear-to-ear smile won’t do — your smile will spread from your toes to your head.
Please don’t control, because all control means control by the ego. I teach you uncontrol: remain natural. Control makes you unnatural, artificial, arbitrary. Remain natural. Control makes you unnatural, artificial, arbitrary. Remain natural, relax. Whatsoever God has given to you — sex, love, whatsoever — accept it as a gift. And go into it, go into it meditatively, go into it very consciously, so that you can see what it is, so that you can learn something from it.

And one day sex disappears. And that day is of great importance, because that day you are biologically free. That freedom is not attained through control; that freedom is attained through understanding, awareness, witnessing.

Source – Osho Book “Unio Mystica, Vol2″

Question – Beloved Osho, What is orgasm in reference to meditation and higher levels of consciousness? Isn’t feeling orgasmic in a deep state of meditation totally nonsexual?

Osho – The experience of orgasm itself is always nonsexual. Even though you have achieved it through sex, it itself has no sexuality in it. You can reach to orgasm through sex. It is a merger of the negative and the positive polarities — such a deep merger that the man is no longer man, the woman is no longer woman. They are not two; there is only one energy surrounding them both. They have melted into that energy.

It may be for a moment — that does not matter — but the experience itself has nothing to do with sex. The first orgasm is bound to be attained through sex. And my own understanding is that meditation has grown out of the experience of orgasm, because the original founders — particularly Shiva who, in his VIGYAN BHAIRVA TANTRA, has written, just like a scientific formula, about one hundred and twelve meditations; each meditation just in one line or two lines…. The man is tremendously aphoristic. Those one hundred and twelve sutras are just like seeds. He has condensed everything about the method in them.

He is also known as a great lover. Perhaps he was the first man to discover meditation. And it can be very scientifically assumed that whoever experienced orgasm, if he had a little intelligence, would have seen that although it has come through sex, it itself is a nonsexual experience. That gives the insight that there may be possibilities of reaching it through nonsexual means, because it is not sexual itself, so sexuality is not necessarily the only way.

It does not need much intelligence if you experience it and see clearly that it does not have any impact of sexuality. Perhaps sexuality created the background, the groundwork in which it happened. But the experience of orgasm itself does not remind you of sex; it is purely spiritual.

Whoever experienced this must have concluded then that there can be other ways to reach it — because sex is not necessarily a part of it. There is no color, nor any impression of sex left in it. Then he must have watched how it happens. And then things are very clear: the moment the orgasm happens, time stops, you forget about time. Your mind stops, you do not think anymore. There is tremendous calmness, and a great awareness.

You are not asleep. You have not fallen into any hypnotic sleep. Everything is crystal-clear. The mind is no more functioning the way it functions continuously: the thought process has stopped. The sense of time is not there; it seems timeless. Afterwards you will think it lasted only a few seconds, but that is afterwards; in the experience itself, it seems it is eternity. And you are fully aware, as aware as you have ever been: wide-awake.

Any observer going through the experience will naturally think, “If these things can be managed without sex — awareness, thoughtlessness, timelessness — you will reach to the orgasmic state, bypassing sexuality.”

And this is my understanding: this is how man must have first discovered meditation; otherwise meditation is not something biological or natural, so that in the course of time you have to discover it. But biology has given you an experience; if you try to understand it, you are bound to search for other methods to make it possible. You know it has happened — that there was no thought, no time, and only pure awareness — so it is possible.

You are not groping in the dark, you are not just guessing: you know it is possible. You have known it through the biological route. Then if these three things can be maintained without sex, the orgasm happens. And the difference is that the sexual orgasm is very momentary. Although while it is there, it looks almost eternal, that feeling is just because of its depth. But through meditation you can have it as long as you want, because meditation is not dependent on anybody else — the woman or the man or a certain state of two minds, a certain rhythm of two energies. The sexual orgasm depends on many things, and particularly on the other person being there.

Meditation is independent of any other person; only you are to create the situation. And naturally the conclusion will be to start with awareness, because you don’t know how else to stop thoughts. It is not in your hands to stop thoughts or to stop time. Only one thing remains, and that is awareness — that you can be more aware or less aware.

You know it. If this house is suddenly on fire, you will be more aware. You know that your awareness goes up and down. At certain moments you are more aware; at certain moments, less aware. So it is possible to create the situation of being more aware.

That’s why awareness became the basis of meditation. And with awareness came the surprise that as you become aware, thoughts disappear. When you are fully aware, there are no thoughts, and suddenly time has stopped. Time can be there inside only with the movement of thoughts.

In fact time can be measured only with some movement. For example, with a watch, how are you measuring time? By the movement of the hands; otherwise, there is no way.

If everything is unmoving, you will not be able to think that anything like time exists. But you know that a car has passed, then a train is passing — there has been a gap. In the gap… it means time. Then you hear the sound of an airplane…. This is movement — you are finding movement around you.

Inside there is only one movement, and that is of thoughts. When thoughts stop, suddenly time disappears, because time can be measured only through some kind of movement. That’s why, if in the night you had many dreams, in the morning you will find that it was a long, long night, because so much movement happened. But if you had no dream at all, you will feel as if you have just fallen asleep, and now you are awake. The night has passed so quickly.

When you are in anxiety, in misery, in pain, time passes slowly because of your pain. You would like the pain to pass quickly, but with your expectation that the pain is not going, time is passing very slowly. But when you are meeting a friend after years, you find hours have passed, and it seems just minutes since you met. When you are joyful, when you are miserable, it makes a difference in the speed of time immediately. But when you are neither — just silent — time has no way to move.

So as one becomes aware, first one finds thoughts becoming less, and finally stopping. Then he finds time is not there — and he has found the key to the basic meditation. Then all other meditations are differentiations of the same method, different combinations of the same method. Different combinations, but essentially they are awareness or witnessing.

And it seems there is no other way to find it except through sexual orgasm, because that is the only experience in life given by nature that comes close to meditation. And the misery is that millions of people have no experience of orgasm, and all the religions have been preventing them from having that experience.

This is so ridiculous, because if they don’t have any orgasmic experience, meditation remains just a fiction; or maybe some giants can do it. “But we are human beings — it is not possible for us to be more aware. How can one be more aware? We are aware as much as we can be. How to stop thoughts?”

And the responsibility for keeping humanity away from meditation goes to all the religions because they are against sex. They have prevented people — not from sex but from orgasm, because they have poisoned people’s sex with guilt. They could not prevent sex, but they did not allow people to be playful about it, they did not allow people to be respectful about it, they did not allow people to go deeper into it.

On the contrary, because sex is sin, it makes people feel guilty. The man is in a hurry to finish as quickly as possible, because you should not continue any sin too long. Knowing that you are doing something wrong, you want to do it quickly and be finished with it.

And if the man is in a hurry he cannot attain to orgasm, only to ejaculation; which proves all the religious teachers right — that you are wasting your energy. Because the man feels he gains nothing, it is a waste, he feels tired. The next day he may have a headache, feels dull, is not so sharp. Perhaps the religious people are right — he is already punished.

So it is a very strange thing. They have created the idea of guilt, and the idea of guilt on its own has given proofs that you really are doing something wrong.

The woman has remained unmoving while making love, because she has been told that to enjoy herself while making love — or to move, or to be playful — is only for prostitutes, not for ladies. Ladies simply lie down almost dead, thinking, “Let him do what he wants to do and let him be finished soon” — because they don’t gain anything out of it. The man at least finds a certain release of the energy with which he was becoming burdened, but the woman does not get even that release. So naturally women are more against sex than men. And every woman thinks in her mind that all men are nothing but animals: their only desire is sex.

This is the by-product of all the religious teachings. In this way… they have not been able to prevent sex; otherwise humanity would have disappeared. And orgasm is not necessary for reproduction, so biology has no problem: it can continue its work without orgasm.

Orgasm was not something necessary for reproduction, it was something to open a window for the higher evolution of consciousness. But the idiots who have been religious leaders and priests prevented that window. They have been teaching continuously: “Meditate!” And when people fail, when they cannot attain to meditation, then the priests say, “You are sinners — how can you attain? First be celibate, fast, do penance.”

And all these things will prevent people from having orgasm — which is the only natural way to have a first glimpse of meditation. So you can understand my difficulty. If I say to people, “You have been prevented by your religious people from becoming religious,” they cannot understand what I am saying. But what I am saying is absolutely scientific.

There must be something in man’s nature that opens a window towards higher evolution; otherwise how can you convince the man that there are things like higher experiences? And how did the first man come to know? Why did he meditate in the first place, and how did he find the way to meditate?

Somebody, somewhere in the past, must have found some similarity with his nature, and must have seen that, although he passes through sex, he reaches to a point where sex has nothing to do with it: sex simply opens a door into a new reality. And that door can be opened without sex far more easily, without dependence.

It is one of the great misfortunes that has befallen humanity, that sex became taboo, prohibited, rejected, condemned. They did not succeed in preventing it, but they certainly succeeded in poisoning man’s spiritual growth. So it is not only the orgasm that you experience in meditation which is nonsexual, even the orgasm that you experience through sex is nonsexual. Orgasm itself is a nonsexual experience.

The natural way, the easier way, the primary way is through sex — and it is perfectly good; it is in accordance with nature’s intentions. And then you know that such an experience is possible for you. Then you can play with the experience, and you can find many ways to reach it.

All those ways have become meditations. And that does not prohibit you from using the sexual way, because it is sex that has given you the first experience of orgasm, has given you the first insight into meditation, has taken you far away from biology and nature. So one should be grateful to one’s sexuality.

There should be no question of guilt. If religions had taught people to be grateful to sex, we would have produced a totally different kind of man — not this miserable and suffering creature that you see all around the world. We could have produced really joyful, blissful people; people who would have forgotten how to be miserable, how to suffer, who would have forgotten completely the anguish in which they are living now.

Source – from Osho Book “Light on the Path’

Question – Why are all the religions against Sex? And why are you not against Sex?

Osho – All the religions are against sex because that is the only way to make you miserable. That is the only way to make you feel guilty. That is the only way to reduce you to being sinners.

Sex is one of the most fundamental truths of life, so fundamental that if somebody says it is wrong, he is putting you in trouble. You cannot get rid of it. Unless you become really enlightened you cannot get rid of it. And to become enlightened there is no need to get rid of it. In fact, if you go deeper into it, enlightenment will be easier because a man who has gone deep in love will be capable of going deep in meditation — because in the deepest moments of love there are a few glimpses of meditation.

That’s how meditation has been discovered. That’s how SAMADHI, satori have been discovered. Because in a deep love affair, sometimes, suddenly, your mind disappears. There are no thoughts, no time, no space. You become one with the whole. People have carried those glimpses in their memories and they want to attain to those glimpses more naturally, more in their aloneness, because to depend on the other is not very good, and then it happens only for a moment. How to attain to that glimpse permanently, so it remains there, it becomes your nature?

Religions are against sex because down the centuries they have come to know that sex is the most enjoyable thing for man. So poison his joy. Once you poison his joy and you put this idea in his mind that something is wrong in sex — it is sin — then he will never be able to enjoy it, and if he cannot enjoy it, then his energies will start moving in other directions. He will become more ambitious.

A really sexual person will not be ambitious. Why? He will not hanker to become the prime minister or the president. Why? The energy that becomes ambition is repressed sex. A sexually free person will not try to become anybody. Whatsoever he is, he is beautifully happy. Why should he bother to hoard money…? When you cannot love, you hoard money; money is a substitute. You will never find a money hoarder a loving person, and you will never find a loving person a money hoarder. It is very difficult. Money is a substitute; it is a pseudo love affair. You are afraid to make love to a woman or a man, so you make love to dollars, rupees, pounds.

Have you not seen when a miser comes across money? Have you seen the light that comes to his eyes, and how the face becomes luminous, as if he is looking at a beautiful woman or a beautiful man…? Just give him a hundred-dollar note, a greenback, and see how he touches it, how he feels it. Saliva starts flowing. It is a love affair. Just look when he opens his money box and looks into it. He is facing God. Money is his God, his beloved.

And when an ambitious person is trying to become the prime minister or the president…. Ambition is sex energy diverted, and the society diverts you. You say, “Why are all the religions against sex?” They are against sex because that is the only way to make you unhappy, guilty, afraid. Once you are afraid, you can be manipulated. Remember this fundamental rule: make a person afraid if you want to dominate him. First make him afraid. If he is afraid, you can dominate him. If he is not afraid, why and how can you dominate him? How will he allow you to be the dominator? He will say, “Be gone. Who are you to dominate me?” First make him afraid.

And there are two things which make people very much afraid. One is death, so religions have exploited that. That you are going to die, that you are going to die, that you are going to die — they persist, so they, they create a trembling. So you say, “What, what am I to do now? How should I behave? How should I live?” And then they say there is hell and there is heaven. Greed and profit, punishment and reward.

So one is death. But death is not yet, so you can postpone it. It is not much of a problem; you say, “Okay, when we will die we will see. And I am not going to die right now. I am going to live fifty years more, at least, so why bother?” And man does not have a very distant — seeing vision; he does not have radar. He cannot see fifty years ahead. Yes, if you say to him, “Tomorrow you are going to die,” he may become afraid, but fifty years? He will say, “Wait, there is no hurry. Let me do my things first.” He may even start doing them faster because “Only fifty years are left? So let me do whatsoever I want to do. Eat, drink, be merry.”

So the second thing, which is more fear-creating, is sex. Sex is already the problem. Death WILL be the problem; it is in the future. Sex has the problem in the present; it is already there. Religions contaminate your sex energy. They start making you afraid that it is wrong, it is ugly, it is sin, it will drag you to hell. They want to dominate you; that’s why they are against sex.

I have no idea to dominate you I am here to make you absolutely free. And there are only two things needed to make you free. One is that sex is not a sin. k is a God-given gift, it is a grace. And second, there is no death. You will be forever, because whatsoever is remains. Nothing ever disappears. Forms change, names change, but the reality continues.

So I take away all fear. I don’t want to make you in any way feel guilty, afraid. I want to take all fears from you so that you can live naturally, without any domination, so that you can live according to your own spontaneity. And that spontaneity will bring enlightenment. Then sex disappears, and then death disappears.

It has disappeared to me, so I know it will disappear to you also. So why be worried…? And it disappears more easily if you have known it rightly. knowledge of anything takes you beyond; you are finished with it. If you have not lived rightly, you will be as other religious people who have not lived rightly: they hanker, they desire, they dream, but they repress, so they remain clinging to their repressions — they are never free of sex.

A beautiful story. Meditate over it:

The time is the not too distant future. We have finally destroyed ourselves by means of a nuclear holocaust. Everyone is waiting restlessly in a seemingly endless line leading up to the gates of heaven. At the head of the line, Peter is deciding which souls shall enter and which shall be turned away.

Some distance from the gates, an American stands in line wringing his hands in apprehension. Suddenly he hears a murmur beginning at the front of the line, and growing into a joyful rush of sound as it builds in volume moving down the line toward his place. He can make out sounds of celebration in many languages. He hears shouts of “Bravo,” “Bravissimo,” “Bis,” “Encore,” and “Hip, Hip, Hooray.”

“What is it? What is it all about?” he implores of those up ahead of him in the line. At last someone closer to the gates shouts back to him, “Peter just told us:’Screwing don’t count!’…”

Get it? Sex has nothing to do with your enlightenment. Love has nothing to do with your enlightenment. It is in fact going to help you because it will make you more natural. Be natural and don’t cultivate any abnormalities, and you will be closer to God.

Hence I am not against sex, I am not against anything. I am only against unnatural attitudes, perverted attitudes. Be natural and normal, and allow God to flow though you. He will take you. His river is already moving towards the sea. Don’t try to swim upstream, don’t try to push the river. Go with the river. That’s what surrender is, and that’s what sannyas is.

Question – Beloved Osho, Would you talk to us about the alternative to suppressing or expressing our emotions?

Osho – Man is the only being who can suppress his energies — or who can transform them. No other being can do either.Suppression AND transformation, they exist as two aspects of one phenomenon, which is that man can do something about himself. The trees exist, the animals exist, the birds exist, but they cannot do anything about their existence — they are part of it. They cannot stand out of it. They cannot be the doers. They are so merged with their energy, they cannot separate themselves.

Man can do. He can do something about himself. He can observe himself from a distance — he can look at his own energies as if they are separate from him. And then either he can suppress them, or he can transform them. Suppression means only trying to hide certain energies which are there — not allowing them to have their being, not allowing them to have their manifestation. Transformation means transforming, changing energies towards a new dimension.

For example, sex is there. There is something in sex which makes you feel embarrassed about it. This embarrassment is not only because society has taught it to you. All over the world many types of society exist, have existed, but no society, no human society, has taken sex easily.

There is something in the very phenomenon of sex that makes you embarrassed, guilty, conscious. What is that? Even if nobody teaches you anything about sex, nobody moralizes to you about it, nobody creates any conceptions about it, still there is something in the very phenomenon that you are not at ease with. What is that? First, sex shows your deepest dependence. It shows that somebody else is needed for your pleasure.

Without somebody else that pleasure is not possible. So you depend, your independence is lost. This hurts the ego. So the more a person is an egoist, the more he will be against sex. Your so-called saints are against sex — not because sex is bad, but because of their egos. They cannot conceive of themselves being dependent on somebody, begging for something from somebody. Sex hurts the ego most.

Secondly, in the very phenomenon of sex the possibility of rejection is there — the other can reject you. It is not certain whether you will be accepted or rejected; the other can say no. And this is the deepest rejection possible, when you approach somebody for love and the other rejects you.This rejection creates fear. The ego says it is better not to try than to be rejected.

Dependence, rejection, the possibility of rejection…and still deeper. In sex, you become just like animals. That hurts the human ego very much, because then there is no difference between a dog making love and you making love. What is the difference? Suddenly you become like animals, and all the preachers, moralists, they go on saying to man: Don’t be an animal! Don’t be like animals! That is the greatest condemnation possible.

In no other thing are you so animal-like as in sex, because in no other thing are you natural — in everything else you can be unnatural. You are eating food. We have created so much sophistication about eating that you are not like animals. The basic thing is like the animal; but your tables, your table manners, the whole culture, the etiquette you have created around food is just to make it distinct from animals.

Animals like to eat alone. So every society creates in the mind of every individual that to eat alone is not good. Share, eat with the family, eat with friends, invite guests. No animal is interested in guests, in friends, in family. Whenever an animal is eating he wants nobody to come near; he goes into loneliness.

If a man wants to eat alone you will say he is animal-like, he doesn’t want to share. His habit of eating is natural, not sophisticated. Around food we have created so much sophistication that hunger has become less important, taste has become more important. No animal bothers about the taste. Hunger is a basic necessity — hunger is fulfilled, the animal is satisfied. But not man — as if hunger is not the point; something else is the point. More important is taste, more important are manners, more important how you eat, not what you eat.

In everything else man has created his own artificial world around him. Animals are naked — that’s why we don’t want to be nude. And if somebody is nude suddenly he hits our civilization totally, he cuts the very roots. That’s why there is so much antagonism against naked people — all over the world.

If you go and move naked in the street, you are not hurting anybody, you are not doing any violence to anybody; you are absolutely innocent. But immediately the police will come, the whole surrounding will become agitated. You will be caught and beaten and put into jail. But you have not done anything at all! A crime happens when you DO something. You have not been doing anything — simply walking naked! But why does the society get so angry? The society is not so angry even against a murderer. This is strange. But a naked man…and society is absolutely angry.

It is because murder is still human. No animal murders. They kill for eating, but they don’t murder. And no animal murders his own species, only man. So it is human, the society can accept it. But nudity the society cannot accept — because suddenly the naked man makes you aware that you are all animals. Howsoever hidden behind clothes, the animal is there, the nude, the naked animal is there, the naked ape is there. You are against the nude man not because he is nude but because he makes you aware of your nudity — and the ego is hurt. Clothed, man is not an animal. With eating habits, manners, man is not an animal. With language, morality, philosophy, religion, man is not an animal.

The most religious thing is to go to a church, to a temple, to pray. Why is it so religious? Because no animal goes to a church and no animal prays; it is absolutely human. Going to a temple to pray, this makes the distinction absolute, that you are not animals.

But sex is animal activity. Whatsoever you do, howsoever you hide it, whatsoever you create around it, the basic fact remains animal. And when you move into it, you become like animals. Because of this fact many people cannot enjoy sex. They cannot become totally animal. Their ego won’t allow it. So ego and sex, this is the conflict — sex versus ego. The more egoistic a person is, the more he is against sex. The less egoistic a person is, the more involved he is in sex. But even the lesser egoist feels a guilt — feels less, but still feels something is wrong.

When one moves deeply into sex the ego is lost, and as the moment comes nearer when the ego is disappearing, fear grips you. So people make love, go into sex, not deeply, not really. They just make a superficial show that they are making love, because if you REALLY make love, all civilization will have to be dropped. Your mind will have to be put aside — your religion, philosophy, everything. Suddenly you will feel a wild animal is born within you. A roar will come to you. You may start actually roaring like a wild animal — screaming, groaning. And if you allow it, language will disappear. Sounds will be there, just like birds or animals making sounds. Suddenly the whole civilization of a million years is dropped. You are again standing like an animal, in a wild world.

There is fear. And because of that fear love has become almost impossible. And the fear is real — because when you lose the ego you are almost insane; you become wild, and then anything can happen. And you KNOW that anything can happen. You may even kill, murder your beloved, you may start eating her body, because then controls are removed.

Suppression seems to be the easiest way to avoid all this. Suppress, or allow only as much as will not lead you into danger — just a part of it which can be controlled always. And you remain in control, you manipulate. You allow up to an extent and then you don’t allow. Then you close yourself and shut yourself.

Suppression exists as a protection, as a safeguard, as a security measure, and religions have used this security measure. They have exploited this fear of sex and they have made you more afraid. They have created an inner trembling. They have made sex the basic sin and they say: Unless sex disappears, you will not be able to enter into the Kingdom of God. They are true, in a sense, and still wrong.

I also say unless sex disappears you will not be able to enter into the Kingdom of God. But sex disappears only when you have accepted it totally — not suppressed, but transformed it. Religions have exploited human fear and the human tendency to be egoistic. They have created many techniques to suppress. It is not very difficult to suppress, but it is very costly — because your whole energy becomes divided against itself, fighting, and then the whole life is dissipated.

Sex is the most vital energy, the only energy, I say, which you have. Don’t fight with it — it will be a waste of life and time — rather transform it. But how to do it? How to transform it? What can we do? If you have understood the fear, then you can understand the clue, what can be done.

The fear is there because you feel that the control will be lost, and once the control is lost you cannot do anything. I teach you a new control: the control of the witnessing self, not the control of a manipulating mind, but the control of a witnessing self. And I tell you that that control is the supreme possible and that control is so natural that you never feel you are controlling. The control happens spontaneously with witnessing.

Move into sex but be a witness. The only thing to remember is: I must encounter the whole process, I must see through it, I must remain a witness, I should not become unconscious — that’s all. Become wild, but don’t become unconscious. Then there is no danger in wildness; then wildness is beautiful. Really, only a wild man can be beautiful. A woman who is not wild cannot be beautiful — because the more wild, the more alive. Then you are just like a wild tiger, or a wild deer running in the forest…and the beauty of it!

But the problem is: not to become unconscious. If you become unconscious, then you are under unconscious forces, then you are under the forces of karma. Whatsoever you have done in the past is accumulated there. That accumulated conditioning can take grip of you and move you in certain directions which will be dangerous for you and for others. But if you remain a witness, that past conditioning cannot interfere.

So the whole method, or the whole process of becoming a witness, is the process of transforming the sex energy. Moving into sex, remain alert. Whatsoever is happening, observe it, see through it; don’t miss a single point. Whatsoever is happening in your body, in your mind, in your inner energy, the new circuit is being made, the body electricity is moving in a new way, in a new circular way; now the body electricity has become one with the partner, with the wife, with the consort. And now an inner circle is created — and you can feel it. If you are alert, you can feel it. You will feel that you have become a vehicle of a vital energy moving.

Remain alert. Soon you will become aware that the more the circuit is created, the more thoughts are dropping; they are dropping like yellow leaves from a tree. Thoughts are dropping. The mind is becoming more and more empty. Remain alert and soon you will see that you are but there is no ego. You cannot say I. Something greater than you has happened to you. You and your partner, both have dissolved into that greater energy.

But this merger should not become unconscious, otherwise you miss the point. Then it is a beautiful sex act, but not transformation. It is beautiful, nothing is wrong in it, but it is not transformation. And if it is unconscious then you will always be moving in a rut. Again and again you will want to have this experience. The experience is beautiful as far as it goes, but it will become a routine. And each time you have it, again more desire is created. The more you have it, the more you desire it, and you move in a vicious circle. You don’t grow, you just rotate.

Rotation is bad, because then growth is not happening. Then energy is simply wasted. Even if the experience is good the energy is wasted, because much more was possible. And it was just at the corner, just a turn, and much more was possible. With the same energy the divine could have been achieved. With the same energy the ultimate ecstasy is possible, and you are wasting that energy in momentary experiences. And by and by, those experiences will become boring; because repeated again and again, everything becomes boring. When the newness is lost, boredom is created.

If you remain alert you will see: first, changes of energy in the body; second, dropping of the thoughts from the mind; and third, dropping of the ego from the heart. These three things have to be observed, watched carefully. And when the third has happened sex energy has become meditative energy. Now you are no longer in sex. You may be lying with your beloved, bodies together, but you are no more there — you are transplanted into a new world.

This is what Shiva goes on talking about in VIGYAN BHAIRAV TANTRA and in other tantra books. He goes on talking about this phenomenon: you are transmuted, a mutation has happened. This will happen through witnessing. If you follow suppression, you can become so-called human beings — bogus, superficial, hollow within; just dummies, not authentic, not real. If you don’t follow suppression but follow indulgence, you will become like an animal — beautiful, more beautiful than so-called civilized man, but just animals — not alert, not aware, not conscious of the possibility of growth, of the human potential.

If you transform the energy, then you become divine. And remember, when I say divine, both things are implied in it. The wild animal with its total beauty of being is there. That wild animal is not rejected and denied. He is there — richer, because he is more alert. So all the wildness is there and the beauty of it. And all that civilization has been trying to force is there, but spontaneous, not forced. Once the energy is transformed, nature and god meet in you — nature with its beauty, god with total grace.

This is what a sage means. A sage means a meeting of nature and the divine, a meeting of the created and the creator, a meeting of body and soul, a meeting of that which is below and of that which is above, a meeting of the earth and the sky.

Says Lao Tzu: Tao happens when earth and heaven meet. This is the meeting. Witnessing is the basic source. But it will be difficult to become a witness in the sex act if you are not trying to become a witness in other acts of your life. So try it the whole day, otherwise you will be in self-deception. If you cannot become a witness while walking on the road, don’t try to deceive yourself, you cannot become a witness while making love. If just walking on the road, such a simple process, and you cannot become a witness — you become unconscious in it — how can you become a witness while making love? The process is so deep…you will fall unconscious.

You fall unconscious while walking on the road. Try it: even for a few seconds you will not be able to remember. Try it; walking on the road just try: I will remember I am walking, I am walking, I am walking. After a few seconds you have forgotten. Something else. has popped into the mind, you have followed some other direction, you have completely forgotten. And suddenly you remember: I have forgotten. So if such a small act like walking cannot be made conscious, it is going to be difficult to make love a conscious meditation.

So try with simple things, simple activities. While eating, try it. While walking, try it. While talking, listening, try it. Try from everywhere. Make it a constant hammering inside; let your whole body and mind know that you are making an effort to be alert. Only then some day in love the witnessing will happen. And when it happens, ecstasy has happened to you — the first glimpse of the divine has descended upon you. From that moment onwards sex will not be sex at all. And sooner or later sex will disappear. This disappearance gives you BRAHMACHARYA — then you become a celibate.

Monks in the Catholic monasteries, or monks following traditional Jainism, or other types of monks, are only celibates for the name’s sake, because their mind goes on making love — more so than your mind. For them, sex becomes cerebral, which is the worst possible thing that can happen, because it is a perversion. If you THINK about sex, it is a perversion. Making love is natural; thinking about it, constantly being involved inside in the mind, is a perversion. The so-called monks are perverted beings, not because they are monks, but because they have chosen the path of suppression, which is a wrong path, which leads nowhere.

Jesus, Mahavira, or Buddha, they are following the path of witnessing. Then brahmacharya happens. This word ‘brahmacharya’ is very beautiful. The very word means: the way the divine behaves. The way the divine behaves — brahmacharya. It has nothing to say against sex; it is not against sex at all, the word. The word simply says this is how the divine acts, behaves, moves, walks.

Once you have known the satori that is possible by witnessing the sex act, your whole life will be transformed, you will start behaving like a god. What are the characteristics of the behavior of a god? How does the divine behave?

One thing: he is not dependent, he is absolutely independent. He gives his love to you, but this is not a need. He gives out of his abundance, he has too much. You simply unburden him if you take it, but this is not a need. And the god is a creator. Whenever sex has become a transformed force, your life becomes creative. Sex is creative force. Right now it moves into biology; it creates new beings, it gives birth. When there is no sex and the energy is transforming, it moves into a new world of creativity. Then many new dimensions of creativity become open to you.

It is not that you will start painting, or making poetry, or doing something else — not that. It may happen, it may not happen, but whatsoever you do will become a creative act, whatsoever you do will become artistic. Even Buddha sitting under his bodhi tree, not doing anything, is creative. The WAY he is sitting, the very way he is sitting there, he is creating a force, an energy, vibrations all around him.

Much research has been done recently on Egyptian pyramids, and they have come to know many mysterious facts. One of the facts is that the shape of the pyramid, the very shape, is mysterious. Suddenly scientists became aware that if you put a dead body in a pyramid it will be preserved without any chemicals; just the shape helps preservation.

Then one scientist in Germany thought: If the shape can do so much that the body is preserved automatically — just by the shape, just the pressure of the shape…. So he tried it on his razor blade. He made a small pyramid, a cardboard pyramid, and tried it with his used razor blade. Within hours the razor blade was again ready to be used. The shape, had given sharpness again to the blade. Then he patented it.

One razor blade can be used for your whole life: you just put it in the pyramid. Nothing is to be done; just the shape gives sharpness again, again and again. Now scientists say that every shape creates a particular milieu.

A Buddha is sitting under a bodhi tree: the way he sits, the posture, the gesture, the very phenomenon of his being there without any ego, is creating millions of vibrations around. They will go on spreading. Even when this Buddha has disappeared from this tree, those vibrations will go on and on and on — they will touch other planets and other stars. Wherever a buddha vibration touches it is creative, it gives you a thrill, it gives you a new breeze.

When sex energy is transformed, your whole life becomes creative — independent, free, creative. Whatsoever you do, you create through it. Even if you do not do anything, non-doing becomes creative. Just your very being creates much that is beautiful, that is true, that is good.

Now the story. The old monk who says to the younger: This is against the rules, you should not have touched the girl, is not only saying so because of the rules. Many things are implied. He is rationalizing; he is feeling jealous. And this is how the human mind works — you cannot say directly that you are feeling jealous.

The girl, a beautiful girl, was standing near the river. The sun was setting, down and down, and the girl was afraid. Then came this old monk who was going to his monastery. He looked at the girl, because it is very difficult for a monk to miss a girl and not to look at her. Very difficult for a monk, he is so obsessed with women! He is fighting hard. He is constantly aware that the enemy is there in the woman.

You can miss a friend but you cannot miss an enemy — you have to see him. If you pass down the street and the enemy is there, it is impossible not to see him. Friends can be passed without even becoming aware that they are there. But enemies, no — because with the enemy is fear. And a beautiful girl, standing lonely, nobody else! The girl wanted somebody to help her — the river was unknown and she was afraid to cross it.

This old man must have tried to close his eyes, must have tried to close his heart, must have tried to close his sex centre, because that is the only protection against the enemy. He must have hurried, he must have avoided looking back. But when you avoid, you look; when you try NOT to look, you are looking. His whole mind was filled with the girl. His whole being was around the girl. He was passing the river, but he was not aware of the river now — he could not be. He was going to the monastery, but he was not interested in the monastery now; the whole interest was left behind.

Then suddenly he remembers that his colleague, another young monk, is coming — they had been on a begging tour. He looks back, and not only is the young monk there, but the young monk is carrying the girl on his shoulders!

This must have created a deep jealousy in the old man. This is what he would like to have done. Because of the rules he couldn’t do it. But he must take revenge! They walked in silence for miles, and at the monastery gate the old man suddenly said: This was not good — this is against the rules. That silence was false. For all those miles the old man was thinking how to take revenge, how to condemn this young man.

He was continuously obsessed; otherwise nothing happens so suddenly, mind is a continuity. For these two or three miles he was continuously thinking what to do, and only now he speaks. It is not sudden. Inside there has been a current, a running current. And he says: This is not good, it is against the rules, and I will have to report it to the abbot, to the chief of the monastery, to the master. You have broken a rule, a very basic rule, that no monk should touch a woman. You have not only touched her, you have carried her on your shoulders.

The young monk must have felt amazed. So sudden…because there was no girl now, no river, nobody carrying her. The whole thing has happened in the past. For three miles they have been completely silent. And the young monk said: I left that girl on the bank of the river but you are still carrying her.

This is a deep insight. You can carry things which you are not carrying; you may be burdened by things which are not there; you may be crushed by things which don’t exist.

The old monk is on the path of repression. The young monk is a symbol of an effort towards transformation — because transformation accepts the woman, the man, the other. Because transformation has to happen through the other, the other will participate in it. Suppression, repression, rejects the other, is against the other. The other has to be destroyed.

This story is beautiful. The new monk is the way. Don’t become the old monks, become the new. Accept life as it is and try to be alert. This young monk must have remained alert while carrying the girl on his shoulders. And if you are alert, what can the girl do?

There is a small anecdote: One monk is leaving Buddha. He is going on a tour to spread the message. So he asks Buddha: What should I do about women? That is always the problem with monks. Buddha says: Don’t look at them. This is the simplest way: just close yourself. Don’t look at them means just close yourself, forget that they are. Alas, the problem is not so easy. Had it been so easy then all those who know how to close themselves would have been transformed.

One of Buddha’s disciples, Ananda, who knows the problem is not so easy…. For Buddha it may look easy. This is a problem: you come with a problem to me; it may be easy for me, but that is not going to help. Ananda knows Buddha has replied casually: Don’t look at them. So easy for Buddha! Ananda says: But it is not so easy. And, Bhagwan, he asks, if there is a situation where we have to look, if we cannot avoid looking, then what is to be done?

Buddha says: Don’t touch. A look is also a touch — through the eyes. You reach through the eyes and touch. That’s why if you stare at a woman for more than three seconds, she will become uneasy. Three seconds is the maximum limit allowed. It is allowed because in life we have to look at each other. But more than three seconds and the woman will become uneasy because you are touching her. Now you are using your eyes as hands.

So Buddha says: Don’t touch. But Ananda is persistent. Ananda has done such great work for the whole of humanity because he would always persist. He said: Sometimes there are even situations when we have to touch. What do you say then? If the woman is ill or the woman has fallen in the street and there is nobody else to help and we have to touch. If the situation is such, then what should we do? Buddha laughs and he says: Then be alert!

The last thing Buddha says is the first. Closing the eyes won’t help, non-touching won’t help — because you can touch in imagination, you can see in imagination. A real woman is not needed, a real man is not needed. Just close your eyes…and you can have an imaginary world of women and men. And you can touch and you can see. Finally, only one thing can help; be alert.

This old monk cannot have heard the whole story, all Buddha’s three answers. He remained with the first two. The young monk has understood the thing — be alert. He must have come near the girl…desire arises…be alert that the desire has arisen.
The problem is not the girl, because how can the girl be your problem? She is her problem, not your problem. The desire arises in you, the desire for woman — that is the problem. The girl is not at all the question. Any girl, any woman would do the same. She is just a point of reference. Seeing the girl, the desire has arisen. To be alert means to be alert to this desire, that the desire has come to me.

Now, a man who is on the path of repression will suppress this desire, close his eyes towards the object and run away. That is a run-away method. But where can you run, because you are running from yourself? You can run from the woman who is standing on the riverbank, but you cannot run from the desire that is arising within you. Wherever you go, the desire will be there. Be alert that the desire has arisen.

Don’t really do anything with the woman. If she asks: Help me! — help her. If she says: I am afraid and I cannot cross this river, carry me on your shoulders — carry her! She is giving you a golden opportunity to be alert. And be thankful towards her. Just be alert, feel what is arising in you. What is happening in you? You are carrying the girl, what is happening in you?
If you are alert, then there is no woman — only a little weight on your shoulders, that’s all. If you are not alert, then there is a woman. If you are alert, then it is just bones, pressing, weight. If you are not alert, then it is all that desire can create, the fantasy, the maya, the illusion.

Carrying a girl on your shoulders, both are possible. If you lose alertness for a single moment, suddenly the maya is sitting on your shoulders. If you are alert, just a little weight, that’s all…carrying a weight.

This young man crossing the river was passing through a great discipline. Not avoiding the situation that is life — not avoiding life; passing through it with an alert mind. Many times he may have missed. Many times he may have completely forgotten. Then the whole illusion and the maya was there. Many times he may have recaptured his alertness again when suddenly there is light and darkness disappears. But it must have been beautiful to experience this alertness.

Then he dropped the girl on the other bank and started walking towards his monastery, still alert — because it is not a question of whether the woman is there or not: the memory can follow. He may not have enjoyed the woman, her touch, while crossing the river — but he may enjoy it now in the memory.

He must have remained alert. He was silent, his silence was true. True silence always comes through alertness. That’s why he says: I have left the girl there, back at the river. I am not carrying her at all. You are still carrying her. In the old monk’s mind things are continuing. And he has not done anything, he has not even touched the girl.

So doing is not the question; it is mind, how your mind is functioning. Be alert, and by and by energies are transformed. The old dies and the new is born.
Enough for today.

Source- from Osho Book “My Way: The way of the white clouds”