Question – [A sannyasin says: Whenever I do any kind of creative work, like writing or preparing a class, a tremendous tension builds up and I get all this nervous energy that I can’t apply to my writing. So I start straightening the room or doing anything to kill time. If somebody walks by I start talking to them and I just go into a kind of a frenzy so that I can’t work, or my work is very tense.]
Osho – I understand. In fact it is not only your problem; it is the problem of all creative people as such. Deep down it is a question of creativity itself. Ordinarily one can create only in a frenzy. So all creative people are crazy people — they live in a frenzy. There are bouts of energy when they become very creative, then gaps of laziness when they simply rest; they cannot do anything. And all creative people are a little imbalanced. If a person is really absolutely normal, he cannot be creative.
So normal people have not created anything in the world. A Van Gogh or a Picasso — they are bound to be a little neurotic. So if you drop your creativity, you can drop your frenzy. But then you will settle on a very normal level and it will not be satisfying because you will feel that something is missing. Something that you could have done, you have not done. Something that was your destiny, you have been avoiding. No one can feel at ease if he avoids his destiny.
The other way is that you be in a frenzy and create, but then too you will be in trouble. Now you will feel happy that you are doing something but you will never have a moment of peace. You will be fulfilling your destiny but it will be like an obsession. You will be almost possessed. All creative people know well that they are almost possessed when they create something. They cannot say that they are doing it — they are being forced to do it. They even sometimes resist and in spite of themselves they have to do it.
My suggestion is, don’t settle against creativity. Move into creativity. But I am not saying that there is no possibility to transcend that obsessive turmoil, that frenzy. There is no need to fall down and settle below; there is a way to go beyond. And if you want to settle, then settle beyond. The way is that you accept this frenzy very delightfully. It is part of the deal. If the going is rough, the going is rough; it is part of the game. If you continuously hanker to be at ease, it is a problem. If you can enjoy that feverishness, that frenzy, there is no problem.
When a river falls into a waterfall there is a frenzy, but the river goes on singing and dancing. When there is a cyclone there is a frenzy, but that too is needed — it is welcome. When the ocean waves are in a wild roar that too is part of being the ocean — and it is beautiful. The problem arises if you start hankering for the opposite.
So for one month do one thing. Simply accept this frenzy; welcome it and go with it. Don’t create any conflict with it. When you feel like talking, talk; nothing is wrong in it. When you feel like writing something, write. Even in the middle of the night, write; nothing is wrong in it. Just go with it — don’t be dragged by it, otherwise you will feel troubled. Just go with it — and when I say go with it, I mean go so happily that sometimes you are going ahead of it and the frenzy is coming just following you, dragging behind. Don’t drag behind. For one month enjoy it, and then tell me how it is.
I would like you to settle, but not against creativity. I would like you to settle beyond it so that you can remain creative and yet you can remain happy and peaceful. So I will not suggest that you drop your creative activity. All creative activity is like a demon — it possesses you, it drives you crazy. It crushes you into new modes of being. It destroys you, renews you. Because somethiny new is going to be born out of you, you are to suffer the birth pangs. Just go with it, and happily. For one month drop all resistance and then tell me. Good.
Source – Osho Book “God is Not for Sale”