[A sannyasin says she has been feeling really lonely in the last few weeks, but for the first time is accepting this, like ’Okay, that’s it.’]
Osho – Just okay is never okay. Enjoy it! Don t just say okay, because that is a kind of defeatism. Celebrate it! Aloneness is beautiful because it is the truth. One has to come to it, one has to befriend it. And if you can befriend it joyously it becomes a kind of centering.
All relatedness can happen only afterwards, when one has learned how to be alone. Only a person who knows how to be alone can be loving. All others are just pretending to love; in fact they are just finding somebody to be occupied with. Their relationship is neurotic, it is pathological. It is not relationship at all… because they cannot be with themselves. They have to be with somebody – anybody! They want to be involved with something, they want to do something so that they can avoid their loneliness. This is hot love. They are simply using the other and the other is using them. They are just in a mutual kind of exploitation. How can there be love when there is so much need and so much dependence?
Love is possible only when there is independence, freedom, when one can relate for no other purpose than relating; when relationship is unmotivated there is no exploitation, and one remains alone, even while relating. Only two beautifully alone persons can come together and have a beautiful experience of being together. But the first requirement is that they should be established in their aloneness. If they are not established there, then all their relationship is just avoiding, escaping.
Good, that you have at least said ’okay’ to it, but that is not enough. Make it a celebration, enjoy it! It is beautiful, it is far more beautiful than any relationship can ever be. It is a relationship with yourself. It is making a circle of yourself. You are the lover and you are the beloved. This is a kind of inner meeting, an inner meeting and communion of the man and woman, of your own polarities. Out of this meeting you will become an individual, an authentic individual. Then everything becomes possible – even the impossible becomes possible. But only afterwards, never before.
So start enjoying it. Feel ecstatic about it. And soon you will see that ecstasy is arising. Ecstasy always arises when one is alone. The people who were running towards the mountains were not all just foolish; they were simply searching for aloneness. Of course they were searching in a wrong way, because aloneness is in, not out there. One can dive into it any moment, anywhere – no need to go to the mountains. So explore this inner Himalaya!
Source – Osho Book “Let Go!”