Osho on Jealousy in Relationship

[A middle-aged sannyasin couple are present. The woman says she is jealous of her husband’s contact with other women.]

Osho – It is time now to drop it! It is good for children, not good for you now. Children can be forgiven – that much foolishness is acceptable in children, but not in you. It is pointless. The whole idea of possessiveness is pointless. Who can possess whom? And for what? It is such a small life; why create trouble? Jealousy will create trouble for you, why create trouble? Jealousy will create trouble for you, will create trouble for him, and it will make things very very tense.

Drop jealousy, you start by dropping it. It is a good situation. If [he] starts fooling around a little it is a great opportunity. Be thankful to him: he is giving you a chance! If he doesn’t fool around you will not know your jealousy and this jealousy will remain with you when you die, you will take it with you. It is better to be finished with it and be finished fast, because soon he will be becoming intelligent enough not to fool around – then?

And remember: if there is no situation about which to feel jealous, you may not feel it but it is there. And that is bad because it remains in your unconscious and goes on deciding your future lives. Jealousy is one of the diseases, canceric, it is cancer of the soul. So just be thankful to him, be grateful to him and go on telling him ’Fool around a little because if you don’t do that… I am lost’.

If he is being foolish, use it! Why should you be worried about it? And I am going to make him able to drop all that nonsense soon. It is time for him too! But you start. And there are surprises: if you drop jealousy, he may drop going with women; things are so interrelated. Because if you are not jealous then why bother? He may be simply going because it makes him feel powerful, powerful over you. Otherwise it is time for him too to see the futility of it all.

But my feeling is that you start. Drop it this very moment – don’t zigzag. If you zigzag time is wasted. Simply drop it. Seeing the futility and seeing the misery if it, just drop it, with no condition, unconditionally. Because dropping it is so blissful, carrying it is such a misery. So simply drop it and never take it up again. Old habits may sometimes catch hold of you but forget about it.

And you will be surprised – it will bring [him] also to his senses. Seeing that [you are] going so high in spirituality, he will forget all about those small things that he goes on doing. And he is doing nothing much – just talking to a woman or just chit-chatting, that’s all, but that will also disappear. When he sees that you are going so far ahead and he is lagging behind, he will start feeling jealous of you.

But you start – my feeling is that you can start it. And you are on that point from where you can drop it because you have suffered enough for it. I can immediately make him not do those things but that will not help – you will remain the same. This fire is good. Use it.

Source – Osho Book “Let Go!”

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