Osho jokes

Osho – Let us laugh a little…. The silence should not become heavy, it should not have weight. Unless your silence learns to dance it becomes a heavy weight.

A flea rushes into the pub just before closing time, orders three large whiskeys, drinks them straight down, rushes out into the street, leaps high into the air and falls flat on his face.
The flea picks himself up shakily and looks all around, “Damn it,” he says, “someone has moved my dog!”

Hannibal Hayne is in Doctor Feelgood’s office for his annual checkup.
“You won’t live out the week,” says the doctor, “if you don’t stop running around after women.”
“But Doc, there is nothing the matter with me,” says Hannibal, pounding his chest with his fist, “I am in great physical shape.”
“Yes, I know,” replies Doctor Feelgood, “but one of the women is my wife.”

Fagin Finkelstein, the lawyer, is engaged to defend a man in court on a rape charge. A huge black woman is testifying that she woke up one morning to discover that she had been raped and that the accused was lying beside her.
“Now, madam, it is very hard to take your story seriously,” sniggers Fagin. “Suppose, for instance, you had woken in the morning and found me lying beside you. What would you think?”
The woman looks Fagin up and down slowly and then remarks, “I would think I had a miscarriage.”

Pitkin, the absent-minded professor and his family are moving house. Mrs. Pitkin knows how forgetful her husband can be and writes the new address on several pieces of paper, putting one in each pocket of the professor’s clothes.
Somehow during the day Professor Pitkin manages to write notes on each piece of paper and then give them away to his students.
In the evening when he drives to the old house, he remembers that he has moved, but has no idea where to. Then he sees some children playing in the street and walks over to them.
“Hey, little girl,” he calls out, “Can you tell me where the Pitkins have moved to?”
“Sure,” replies the girl. “It is just around the corner and three houses along — Daddy!”

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