[An indian visitor said that he would like to ask what was the most important question in his life – and that was that he found it difficult to maintain ever-present awareness, that sometimes awareness came as a delayed response, and this was the problem for him.]
Osho – You are creating the problem, and people who try to be aware, almost always create the problem. The first thing: awareness can only be of the moment. The very idea that it should always remain, that it should become a permanent state, is wrong. And why be worried about the next moment? The very idea of permanence is part of greed. Greed is part of unawareness, so unawareness is playing a trick and creating a problem. It is not out of awareness that the problem is coming; it is out of unawareness.
This moment is enough. Be aware in this moment. I understand – next moment you forget, so forget! Be aware of your forgetfulness. One has to be attentive even to one’s unattentiveness. There are moments you are aware – then you are aware of awareness. It is not a simple awareness. It is complex; you are aware of your awareness. Then there are moments when you are aware of your unawareness, but awareness continues as a substratum.
So whatsoever happens…. Sometimes you forget – what can you do? There is no point in crying for the spilled milk. That which is gone is gone. If one moment has passed and you were not aware, and later you became alert that this moment has gone and you were not aware, don’t waste any moment for it now, because this other moment is passing by. Just be aware of it.
And why ask for permanence? One person never gets two mo-ments together. You always get one moment. When that one is gone, another is supplied. So if you can remain alert in one single moment – enough! Whatsoever time will be coming in front of you, your torch of awareness will be there. Asking for permanent awareness is as if you are going for a long journey, a thousand-mile journey in the night, and I give you a small torch and you say, ’By this torch I can only see a few feet. The journey is very long – one thousand miles. How am I going to manage? It is impossible. This torch is too small.’
But I will tell you to go four, five feet, and then the torch will be falling four, five feet ahead again. Just by a small torch, one can move into the darkest night, and one can go on moving for a thousand miles; there is no problem. But if you start calculating, and you sit down and put it on paper and you see that the torch is only capable of lighting four, five feet, and the journey is one thousand miles – impossible.
One moment is enough for your awareness. Then comes another moment. Your awareness is there. Another moment will be lighted, then another, then another. The whole eternity can pass in front of you. Why be worried about making it permanent? That too is part of greed. Life is momentary. Let awareness also be momentary. That’s why buddha called his philosophy ’chhanikawada’ – the philosophy of the moment. He said it is enough to be mindful of the moment. Only the moment exists – all else is imagination.
So the past is gone. If you missed, you missed. Forget about it. There is no need to worry and beat your head. The future has not come. There is no need to bring it in. Just look at the moment that is passing right now, and look with awareness. Still you will miss many times, but nothing is wrong in it.
When you miss, just note with full alertness that you missed – that’s all. By and by you will miss less and less. Just take a simple note, observe it and finished! Go ahead. By these observa-tions, more and more awareness will be happening. And I’m not saying permanent. I’m saying more – because more has depth. Awareness is going to remain of the moment. It can be shallow, it can be deep. That is a totally different dimension.
It will become more and more deep, more and more deep. It will become so deep one day that whatsoever comes in front of you will be lighted well. But don’t think in terms of permanence. It can become eternal, but not permanent. Permanence is part of time. But we always think of making things stable. If something is fleeting we become worried. Then we think, ’What is the point of making so much effort and it is gone again, gone again?’ Simply drop that worry. Awareness is the key word and the key question. If you can open it, you have found the master key. It opens all the locks. No other question is necessary then. But don’t make it a greed. It will come.
Source – Osho Book “Dance Your Way to God”