[Another sannyasin says: For two days after doing the gourishankar meditation I came into a space I don’t know, and I came in contact with so much fear…. I’d like to stay here but sometimes after this experience I become so frightened.]
Osho: Don’t be worried. That experience has to be accepted. It is not fear; you are misinterpreting it. It looks like fear because you don’t know any other word to label it with. It is not fear. It is just the unknown opening itself to you, and it looks like fear. It looks as if we will disappear into this abyss, as if this abyss will take us to some place from where we will not be able to come back. So the mind interprets it as fear. But the mind is always unwilling to go into the unknown, and meditation only starts with the unknown.
Because you have been happy and joyful you have come close to that point where meditation can start. It must have happened in gourishankar that suddenly the sky opened, unbounded, infinite. One feels so small, hence the fear. One feels so lost, hence the fear and the fear that maybe this is death. It is a kind of death, the death of the ego.
Go into it, and whenever it comes again just remember me and go into it. That’s my whole purpose of being here: to push you into that abyss. Once you have entered into it, all fear will disappear. It is not fear. You just need the taste of it and then you will hanker for it again and again and again. Just one step into it and you will never look back!
[Someone tells Osho he does not enjoy life. Osho says: Tell me the things that you enjoy. And he replies: sleeping, music, dance and eating.]
Osho: That’s great. I think that is enough — four! These four things are all! You are not a workaholic, so that’s perfectly good. You are a born lazy man, so it is good! Enjoy, and don’t fight with your laziness.
The problem arises because we start going against our own grain; then the problem, then you feel tired. If you are not enjoying anything, stop! That simply says that your nature is not fulfilled there. If you enjoy lying on the bed it is a great spiritual activity.
Then dance and eat and sing! Do things that you enjoy. It is your life; it is nobody else’s life. Play on the guitar, play the flute, listen to music, create music. Just choose things that you like. There is nobody else to decide for you. And that’s where you are creating the problem: you are listening to others’ opinions. If they say that you are lazy, say ‘So what? I am lazy and you are not. So enjoy your thing and I will enjoy mine. I am not going to tell you to sleep for twelve hours. You will be in trouble if you can sleep only six hours and you try to sleep twelve. Don’t tell me!’
Don’t listen to anybody. And remember that whatsoever you enjoy, enjoy it and accept its consequences, because there will be consequences. You cannot become a very rich man. If you enjoy sleeping you cannot become a very rich man; only people suffering from insomnia can become rich. What should those do who cannot enjoy sleep? They count money and calculate and plan and… You will not be a rich man. You cannot become a politician, because much work is needed. One has to rush from this place to that continuously, always hurrying, reaching nowhere and always going, always on the go. You will not be a politician, you will not be a rich man. But you will be rich if you can enjoy the things that you like.
My approach is to listen to your being, to your nature. That is your destiny; nothing else is important. Accept yourself in totality, don’t condemn. What is wrong in it? But because we have ideas from others, we go on comparing. Somebody is working eight hours and earning money and a name and fame and his bank balance is growing and growing, and you are asleep.
I myself enjoy sleep. In my university days I enjoyed it so much that my teachers were always afraid about whether I would make it to the examination or not. One of my professors was so concerned that whenever there was an examination he would come to pick me up. Only when he had left me in an examination would he be at ease; now I couldn’t escape.
But if you enjoy sleep, it is far better than any examination, any education. Just accept the consequence of it, then there is no problem. Don’t hanker for things which only other people who are not lazy can get; then problems arise. You want all that workaholics are getting but you are lazy and you are not getting them. Then you are worried, you are pulled apart. That tension will be very destructive.
Relax. If you can work two hours, good; three hours, good. A man does not need much. And everybody is capable of earning that much which is needed — food, clothes, shelter. Palaces you will not be able to make.
This is my basic formula: accept and love it and you will not feel tired. You will be more full of energy than anybody; you will be overflowing with energy. Continue meditating; meditation will change things.
Source – Osho Book “The Sun Behind the Sun Behind the Sun”