Question : I grew up in a totally unreligious home, but every time i hear you mention the name of jesus i cry and something deep inside me is moved. What is happening?
Osho : That must be because you grew up in an unreligious home. Religious homes destroy religion forever. Religious homes are the most unreligious places on the earth. What do I mean when I say this? If you are born in a religious Christian home, they will go on forcing you to bow down to Jesus, they will go on forcing you to become a Christian. they will condition you. They will not listen to your desire, and they will not bother about your freedom; they will condition you to be a Christian. And of course, the innermost spirit rebels against all sorts of bondages. Christianity is a bondage, so is Hinduism, so is Islam, and all so-called religions. When a child is forced to become a Hindu or a Christian or a Mohammedan, the innermost being rebels. He resists. And when something is forced on you, howsoever beautiful it is, it becomes ugly.
God has to be searched in freedom — not through any conditioning. The world is so unreligious because of these religions, because of these religious people. They go on conditioning people; they destroy the very urge.
Just think of it: you go into the garden, you watch the trees, you look at the flowers and you are very happy. But if it is forced on you, and a policeman follows you with a bayonet and says, “Look at the rose and enjoy!” what will happen? The rose will be the same, but how can you enjoy when a man is standing behind you and ordering you to enjoy?
When you are forced to go to the Sunday-school and you wanted to go somewhere else — to the zoo, or you wanted to go fishing, or you wanted to play, and all the children of the neighborhood were playing, but you are a Christian so you have to go to the church… and the child is sitting there in bondage — listening yet not listening, ready to escape any moment, waiting for when this nonsense is over. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus…. Jesus becomes a swear word; it loses all meaning. And then it is very difficult later on to dis-cover the meaning.
You are fortunate that you were born and grew up in a totally unreligious home. In a better world, every child should be allowed to grow without any religious teaching. Love your children, but never give your ideologies. Love your children, let them feel that Jesus has done something for you, or Mohammed has done something for you, Or Mahavira — let them feel, but don’t force. Let them grow in freedom. Let them see when you pray, let them see your tears rolling down on the cheeks and the beauty of it. Let them see when you bow down to Jesus, let them watch… and children are very very watchful, very sensitive — if things are not forced on them, they will move on their own. When they see you crying beautiful tears, when they see you bowing down before Jesus and they feel the vibe… suddenly everything has become quiet, suddenly the father is no more the father and the mother is no more the mother, suddenly they have become luminous beings… he will also start bowing down. Maybe in secret when you are not watching, he will go and he will also bow down. He would like to know what happens when one bows down to Jesus or Buddha, when one prays. Let them catch it — don’t teach it, don’t force it. Everything becomes ugly when forced.
Freedom is the basic thing. Consciousness grows in freedom and starts dying, becomes paralyzed and crippled, when things are forced. And up to now, this has been done. This is the greatest crime that parents have always committed against children. They go on forcing the child — they are afraid, they don’t trust their own prayer.
When I was a child, I used to go with my father to his temple. In the beginning, he would tell me to do this and that. I told him, “If you tell me, I will do — but from the very beginning, I will be against it. So please, don’t enforce. Let me come, let me watch. If I feel something has happened to you, that will be the decisive factor.” And he is a simple man. He allowed me. He said, “That’s right.” And he would go and pray, and I would simply sit and watch. Prayer, meditating, I would see how he changes, how his face suddenly goes through a transformation, how his face becomes luminous, how silent and graceful he becomes. That became an enquiry… one has to know these spaces too. Then the child is enchanted. Then a great desire arises in him to know what it is, what it is all about.
Good, that you were brought up in an unreligious home. That may be the cause that whenever I mention the name of Jesus you cry and something deep inside you is moved. Good — because you are not a Christian, Christ can still mean something to you. And because you are not a Christian, soon you will see that Buddha also is meaningful, and so is Patanjali and so is Kabir and so is Nanak. When one is not conditioned, one remains available to all the sources, to all the great masters.
One should claim the whole heritage of humanity as one’s own — we are unnecessarily poor. Somebody says, “I am Christian.” He is saying, “I claim only Jesus. I don’t claim Buddha, I don’t claim Zarathustra, I don’t claim Lao Tzu.” How poor a man! The whole humanity, the whole history of man, is yours. Jesus is as much yours as Lao Tzu, as Buddha, as Mohammed. They are all yours: claim them all together, that is your heritage. But that is possible only if you are not conditioned to be a Christian, Hindu, Mohammedan.
Good, you are fortunate that Jesus can still have some meaning to you. This is my whole effort here — to uncondition you. If you are a Christian, I want you to become unconditioned. Drop your Christianity, drop your Hinduism, drop your Jainism. And paradoxical it may look to you, but try to understand: if you drop Christianity, you may be able to have a love with Christ again. If you drop Hinduism, you may be able to dance again with Krishna; you may start singing the notes that he is still playing on his flute. Hinduism is standing like a great China Wall — it does not allow you to reach directly to Krishna. Become unconditioned. Drop all culture, civilization, religion, sects, theologies, philosophies. Just be simple, be a child again.
It is fortunate that you were not born in a religious home, otherwise you would have come in contact with the priests. And to come into contact with the priests is to become irreligious forever, because the priests are the most unreligious people. They pretend — but pretensions can never be appealing, convincing. You know them; in their life they are as ordinary as anybody. Just in the pulpit, just in the church, they become suddenly very very eloquent about religion. Their life is completely silent; no flicker of consciousness, awareness, no possibility of any gods flowering in them, no fragrance around them, not a single vibe, not a wave… but when they stand on the pulpit in the church, suddenly they start talking about religion. Religion has nothing to do with them; they are as irreligious as anybody else. Pretenders, hypocrites….
I have heard… A very sick-looking man sat down in the doctor’s chair and the doctor looked him over and said, “What’s the matter with you?”
He said, “I don’t really know. I feel weak, very, very weak, I worry too much, I haven’t got any strength, I don’t eat well and I can’t sleep at nights And moreover, I’m becoming impotent. I look like losing my job too, if I don’t try and pull myself together.”
“I see,” said the doctor. “Tell me, what kind of work do you do?”
“Well, you know those cartoon adverts in the papers — those things that advertise Scroggs Super-Pep Tonic Wine? Well, I’m the fella who draws them.”
This is the type you will find in your priest. He goes on talking about God — and look into his eyes… not even a shadow of God. Look deep into his being… and he is as far away from God as you are — maybe even more. Maybe the people who come to the priest believe a little, but the priest is always an unbeliever. He knows; he knows the whole trade and the secret. He knows that there is no God. He cannot say it because he has invested too much in it, he depends on it. Priests are the most unreligious people on the earth, and there is a reason — because they know; the statue in the temple is just a stone, they know. They have seen rats and mice running over it, and they know that the statue cannot do anything; and they have prayed for you, and they know the prayer reaches nowhere — but they go on pretending.
If you have come in contact with priests, there is every possibility you may become anti-religious. If you have not come in contact with priests, there is a possibility that someday the desire will arise — because religion is a natural desire. If not corrupted by priests, everybody is born religious and everybody will find his way somehow. Just like rivers moving, now knowing where, but they reach to the ocean — everybody will find his way to God if he is not hindered by priests and not prevented by religions. A really religious person will be religion-LESS.
And these priests are really very serious people. They even kill your desire to love, to celebrate; they kill all possibility of being happy. They promise that in heaven you will be happy, but not here; it is not allowed here. In fact, you have to be masochistic here, torture yourself, and then in heaven you will have your reward. Nobody knows about heaven. The real prophets, who are never priests — a Buddha, a Jesus, a Mahavira — the real prophets really teach to be delight-full herenow, this very moment; there is no need to postpone. Heaven is here… because heaven is not a geographical place, heaven is your attitude.
I came across a cartoon some years ago that I have never forgotten and over which I still chuckle. Two men are standing on a street corner across from a church. It is obviously Sunday noon and people are pouring out of the church — cheering, laughing, arms in the air, some even dancing. In the middle of all this, they are carrying out their be-robed preacher on their shoulders. Observing this, one man says to the other, “I wonder what he preached on!” Because such a scene in a church — people dancing, singing, carrying their priest on their shoulders dancing — it seems impossible. Dance in a church? People enjoying, delighted, celebrating, in a church? Laughter in a church? — not known. Right: observing this, one man says to the other, “I wonder what he preached on!”
In fact, true religion will always create dance in you, true religion will always create a song in you, true religion will create the divine melody in you. True religion is nothing but true happiness. Fortunate you are that you were born in an irreligious family. Now that Jesus moves you, go wholeheartedly with him.
Now that the mentioning of the name of Jesus makes you start crying, cry wholeheartedly. That will be your prayer: that IS prayer. Be really moved… religion is being born in you. This is how religion is always born. Nobody can teach when the right moment comes, when the ripeness comes… suddenly one day you start feeling new urges; new dreams hover around you, new paths open, new doors send their challenges to you, new adventures.
This crying, this moving that is happening within your soul — allow it, go with it. Don’t try to control it — I am saying this because there is every possibility you may try to control it, because we have been taught to control. Crying? — control it. Laughter? — control it. Control everything! And by control, you lose all spontaneity — and God is spontaneity. If you become spontaneous, you are moving hand in hand with God; by being spontaneous, you are in God. That is the whole teaching of Kabir: SAHAJ SAMADHI BHALI — be spontaneously in meditation. That’s the best meditation.
Now, if Jesus’ name moves you, sit silently and let that name move you. Sometimes say silently, JESUS… and then wait. That will become your mantra — this is the way that a real mantra is born. Nobody can give you a mantra, you have to find it. What appeals? What moves you? What creates a great impact on your soul?
If Jesus, then beautiful. Sometimes, sitting silently, just repeat “Jesus” and wait… and let the name move deep, deeper into the recess of your being. Let it go to the very core. And allow — if you start dancing, good; if you start crying, good; if you start laughing, good. whatsoever happens out of it, let it be. Let it be so; don’t interfere, don’t manipulate. Go with it, and you will have your first glimpses of prayer and meditation and first glimpses of God. The first rays will start penetrating your dark night of the soul.
Source – Osho Book “The Divine Melody”